𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞 || 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Chapter 40

Monday 15th February, 1977

I didn't want to get up the next day. I found myself crawling deeper under my covers, wishing for blissful relief of sleep to wash away all my problems.

This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. How could it be happening? Nothing was happening-

"Y/n?"

Lily's voice was soft, quiet, as she entered my dorm. I felt a weight on the side of my bed and knew Lily had sat down, but I still didn't want to get up.

"Y/n, what happened?" she asked.

Everything. Everything happened. No, nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing was happening. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. How could it be happening? Nothing was happening-

"Y/n talk to me," Lily pleaded. "What's wrong?"

Reluctantly, I pulled the covers off of me, letting myself pull me into a sitting position. Lily, no doubt noticing my tear stained cheeks, waited in silence for me to tell her what happened.

And I did.

I told her everything. I poured my heart out to her, trying in vain to explain my feelings, how this made me feel. I was a mess of emotions, each one pulling at me, trying to make me focus on it, but there were too many. Too many to focus on, to decipher. I was a mess.

After my explanation, Lily hugged me. Just that. No words of encouragement, of advice. She just held me, and I found that that was what I'd been craving since I found out Regulus was engaged. We stayed in that position for a while, until finally Lily spoke.

"The boys are really worried about you," she whispered. "They saw you enter the Common Room crying last night."

"Don't tell them anything," I sniffed. "Please."

Lily untangled herself from me, much to my displeasure. I really just wanted to be held. "I won't if you get up and have breakfast with me."

I frowned, but knew Lily would stand right there until I did what she asked, so I relented. When we arrived at the Great Hall, I knew it was a mistake as I received an onslaught of questions and queries from my friends.

"I don't really want to talk about it," I said, hoping they would back off.

Most of them did, except James who stayed rooted in front of me, his eyes searching my face. I was about to tell him to leave it when he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. There were no words spoken. He just hugged me, and I found myself leaning into his touch, holding him just as tightly, squeezing my eyes shut to avoid the tears.

"I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," I replied, voice muffled from where I had my face pressed against his chest.

Once we both pulled back I sat down, pretending like I didn't just have a moment with my brother, and in front of the whole school too; how embarrassing.

I started eating, determined not to stare at him, but it was as if he was magnetic, because I found myself staring at Regulus against my will. He looked tired, and sad. His eyes flicked up to mine, a pleading expression taking over his face and I looked away, feeling a pang of sadness.

I was upset. My boyfriend was engaged to someone else. I was hurting. I knew it wasn't his choice to be engaged to someone else, that he didn't want to, and I wasn't trying to blame him. I just felt so overwhelmed, so shocked and hurt, and I needed space. I needed time to process things, to try and get my thoughts in order before I talked to him, because I knew if I talked to him now, with the feelings still fresh and my mind still a tangle of confusion, things wouldn't go well.