nobody shines the way you do » l.s.

part twenty one

Zayn took Louis home, while Louis wiped the last of his tears and tried to compose himself. Once they'd gotten home, Louis promised he was fine and to please go to Perrie's that night like he'd planned. In reality, Louis just wanted to be alone after everything that had happened.

Zayn eventually left and Louis made himself a hot cup of tea before changing into his favorite sweats and heading to bed. He wanted that night to be over. The entire train ride, he couldn't get Harry's crying face out of his head and it was hurting more than he'd like to admit.

After they'd managed to gather Harry up, Liam took him home, as well. Everyone just looked so shell-shocked and afraid that either of them was going to do something crazy and Louis felt bad. He felt bad that they were being dragged out into this. Either way, they were all understanding when he apologized. But now, he wanted to sleep it off, knowing that he should get a head start despite it being rather early because it always took forever for him to go to sleep.

Just as he'd finished his tea and set it on the bedside table, someone rang the doorbell. He wondered if Zayn forgot something or if one of the others was over. Louis slowly crept out of bed and looked through the peephole to see it was Harry, his heart practically stopping.

He unlocked the door slowly and looked at Harry with a surprised expression. Harry looked at him and breathed a sigh of relief, perhaps at the fact that he'd maybe thought Louis wasn't going to come out and open the door for him.

"Harry," Louis looked at him questioningly. He wasn't saying anything, just staring at him. Louis wished he would say something. Louis continued to look at Harry pointedly. Harry fish-mouthed for a few moments, but he was struggling, his eyes still red and face pale. "Why are you here?" Louis asked, trying to get something out of him.

Harry ran a hand through his hair and looked at him desperately. "Can we talk, please?"

"About what?"

"Louis, please."

Louis slowly nodded his head, opening the door for him. Harry walked in and stopped in the living room. "I know that it's unfair of me to come--and I wasn't going to, but I had to. I couldn't keep doing this to you or me."

"Do what?"

"Not be honest," he said with a sad expression. "Louis, you have to know that tonight killed me. I couldn't watch you walk away from me again, that's why I stopped you."

Louis' eyes shot up to look at him. "And why can't I walk away from all this?"

"Because no matter what you say, we're still best friends. And I know we've fought and things have happened, but I still think you're my best friend."

"Real shit way that you treat your friends," Louis retorted.

Harry looked hurt but didn't push it. "I just -- I don't know what to do without you."

"You don't need me, Harry. You really don't. You'll be fine."

"But I do."

"Why?" Louis. "Give me one reason why you need me...actually, fuck that. Give me ten reasons other than the fact that we're best friends. That's not good enough anymore because I can't be just your friend. I don't want to be just friends or your fucking second choice."

Harry shook his head and looked like he was ready to have another breakdown like the other night. "No," he kept repeating. "You can't -- like, just say that, okay? Louis, it hurts me so much that you think that you're my second choice because that's not true. You've never been my second choice."

"Don't lie," Louis said, sadly. "Peter's always been first. And he'll take you back, alright? I know he broke up with you, but he'll take you back. I'll back off and you won't have to deal with any of this anymore. You two can be happy."