𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙧 ━ 𝙩𝙡𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨

The Light

She simply shrugs, pulls the bottle bottle into her grasp and pouring herself another cup of the clear liquid, "it's 5 o'clock somewhere."

Almost like a reflex, Joel stared down at his watch, his broken watch that had been gifted to him by his daughters, with his eyes glazed over, Paige watched him with a small frown, she hated upsetting her dad. In her heart, she only wanted to be loved by him, but she knew she'd never live up to Sarah.

"I'm gonna go for a walk." She clears her throat, downing the last of her drink and slamming it down on the table. Joel flinched slightly, only adding to the guilt Paige felt, at that subtle movement, she wanted to cry, to hug him and see sorry; she didn't deserve the comfort.

"It'll be curfew soon," Joel sighs, shaking himself out of his daze but doesn't make much of an effort to move from the boy, nor does he make much of an effort to prevent her from leaving, "get some rest, baby." His voice is low, almost like its unsure of himself to be calling her the pet names he did when she was a child.

It almost made her stop. To turn around and do as he said. Almost.

Paige closed the door gently behind her and headed up to the roof.

The roof was quiet, it always was, with the garden chair that sat in the corner where the Miller girl usually resided most nights, just staring up at the clear stars while FEDRA drove by, the fire escape wrapped in moss and pebbles and the ledge, that seemed to call her name.

She hesitated for a moment, staring at the wall, which was half turned to debris since infection day. It was as if it was enticing her, with the empty promise that if she peered down into the darkness below, there would be a glimpse of Sarah; so she could hug her, and say hello again.

Walking closer to the edge, she swung her legs over the concrete wall, sitting and watching the sun fall below the walls that were made to keep the rest of humanity safe, but it only made them worse off.

It was no way to live. A life of fear of being ripped apart in your sleep, or the military waving their guns in your face just to make a point. It may have been surviving, but it was not a life.

Paige's eye falls to the ground below her dangling boots and her breathes turned shallow in the pit of her lungs, as if they were filling up with the salt of the ocean, burning her from the inside out. Because in that moment, Paige wanted to fall.

She wondered how her body would look when she was gone. Would she be mangled, her skull crushed in upon impact and be too hard for her father and uncle to even sparea glance at her corpse; or would she lay in angelic grace as she finally met her end.

She thought how easy it would be. To end it all. All her suffering, her grief, her longing. All it would take it one small push, a leap of faith from the edge to the ground below, falling past her father's apartment window as he lost his daughter for the second time.

It was selfish, yes. It was cruel, yes. It was cowardly, yes. But who was Paige if not human.

Continuing to stare down past her feet, she noticed a tanned woman. Her hair was worn down, an oddity in modern times, most women either opted to tie their hair up or cut it completely; another tactic to survival, however, it appeared to Paige as if the woman was using it to hide.

T

he woman seemed to be aware of the three men dressed in dark clothes following behind her. The trio obviously weren't trying their best at being discreet and maybe they wanted her to know that she wasn't safe walking the Boston QZ just before curfew.