i would like to thank my best friend for helping me out a bunch with this part!
« explosions light up the battlefield during the dark hours of war, the stars above observing the bloodshed that lay below them - the once green grass now stained red as bodies begin to pile, a reminder of the cruel that suppresses within yet still manages to slip through the cracks. a union said to represent peace, harmony and strength has now been unmasked - revealing the war, upset and weakness. mothers pray, fathers fight, their children afraid and confused, failing to recognize the severity of the horrors within current events. fighter jets obscure the skies as they race through to unintentionally drop another couple dozen bombs on twerk-unaffected families. with buildings being reduced to rubble, memories of what once was fading away, bodies being mangled beyond recognition - the soviet union is at war with itself. »
random soviet government officials 2 and 4 converse in the soviet government's super secret base as they fearfully watch the atrocities of war unraveling before their eyes.
random soviet government official 4: how did we let it get this far... we were meant to prevent this very thing from happening. sir, please what can we do?!
random soviet government official 2: first of all, take a chill pill, it's not like you're out there, no use in pissing yourself about it. plus there's nothing we can do to stop this at this point. you can thank that bastard of a twerker, titov.
random soviet government official 4 begins to bite his nails as drops of sweat run down his forehead.
random soviet government official 4: but sir, how can this not be on us? it was our job to stop the twerk from reaching the rest of the soviet union and we failed. WE FAILED SIR WE FAILED!!! AND NOW INNOCENT PEOPLE ARE DYING OH GODDDDDD WE FAILED!
random soviet government official 4 buries his head in his hands while hyperventilating. random soviet government official 2 judgmentally stares at him.
random soviet government official 2: oh my god chill the fuck out. we did our best, blame those filthy twerkers, not us. besides, you should've been prepared for this, you freaking out like this is not going to help anyone. like god seriously how-
random soviet government official 2 realizes random soviet government official 4 has passed out.
random soviet government official 2: well that's just great
random soviet government official 2 grabs a comically large bucket of water and pours it all over random soviet government official 4's unconscious body. random soviet government official 4 jolts upward then immediately is reminded of the war progressing outside the base. another 2 deaths are announced over the radio causing him to shriek femininely. he curls up on the floor in devastation.
random soviet government official 2: you know what i am sick of this shit. look at what they've done after i spared their lives. the soviet union is collapsing because of this twerk. because of gagarin. because of komarov. because of titov. yes. that's who i'll start with. GET UP!
random soviet government official 4 looks up at random soviet government official 2 in distress and begins to sob even harder. random soviet government official 2 watches in disgust as a pool of fluid forms around random soviet government official 4's crotch. the stench of urine fills the room.
random soviet government official 2: gee willikers
random soviet government official 4: GEE WILLIKERS??? GEE FREKAINGF WILLIEKRS???? THATB IS ALL YOI HAV ETO SAY??? GEE FUDKVKCFJVKUhIWEIWIWIW
random soviet government official 2 disregards random soviet government official 4's craze, rolling his eyes as he picks up a pistol from his desk and makes his way over to the other room which holds the three frozen containers. he opens the door, turns on the light and slowly approaches the containers. eyeing titov's container, he raises one eyebrow and begins to contemplate his decision. though not for long, soon after lifting the latch as a frosty steam seeps through. random soviet government official 2 points his gun towards titov's lifeless body
cartoon boing sound effect 3 plays. random soviet government official 2 drops to the floor
random soviet government official 4, in his pee stained pants: not on my watch buddy
he closes the lid and stares at the bodies intensely before walking away back into the office room, slumping into random soviet government official 2's seat and letting out one great big sigh
back on the battlefield, the bloody war continues, showing no signs of stopping any time soon. a soldier has an encounter with a civilian who lays in a pile of debris
soldier, pointing his gun at the civilian: do you have the twerk
civilian: no?
soldier: oh ok
the civilian slowly starts to get up, letting out small groans as his body aches
soldier: what are you doing
civilian, now pulling a troll face: oh don't worry about it
soldier: ok
fighting through the agony, the civilian begins to twerk as fast as he can before being shot whilst not even having the twerk virus, he just wanted to do it for the lols
soldier: AAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH NAAAOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TTHHEEE TWERRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!
the soldier doesn't have time to shoot the civilian - he even drops his gun. he is shocked. shocked and appalled. he now believes he has the twerk. it's over. the civilian rushes over to grab his gun and shoots the soldier right between the eyes
civilian: it's time.. for the TWERK REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WILL RISE, AND I WILL AVENGE OUR GREAT HEROES - THE HEROES OF THE SOVIET UNION!!!!!!! THEY KILLED OUR OWN GLORIOUS COSMONAUTS!!!!! THEY KILLED THEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMM!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
the civilian is shot in the head by another soldier passing by and his corpse falls onto the other dead soldier that he had just killed
soldier 2: ermmm.. awwwkkkwaaarrrddd!!!!
soldier 2 then spots another civilian twerking, shoots them, and shakily points his rifle to himself
soldier 2: gah damn. i do it for the union
he then shoots himself to prevent the spread
suicide, murder, twerking. the atrocities just keep piling and piling. it seems there is no end to the massacre. the self destruction of the soviet union, all because of the twerk.
meanwhile, in the super secret soviet government bunker, the government officials are discussing the war
random soviet government official 4, sweating heavily: guys.. i don't think we should keep destroying our land like this
random soviet government official 1: i understand your concern over our land, but we must combat this twerk no matter the consequence. our union will not be westernized.
random soviet government official 4: westernized? are you blaming the westerners now? what have they done? nothing - absolutely nothing! it was our own men who brought the twerk to the union! our very own men! you're going to sit there and blame the west when it was our very own high ranking soviet cosmonaut that brought the twerk to earth again? do any of you even realize what's happening right now?! you ordered the destruction of your own god damn homeland! you're going to sit there and let your military slaves kill your own citizens? your own people? i can't believe it. i really, really, really can't believe it. i don't know what i expected from any of you, i really don't. i'm so, so stupid.
random soviet government official 3: i advise you to calm down, si-
random soviet government official 4: calm down? ah, i'm sorry, am i hearing you correctly? CALM DOWN? do you even HEAR yourself right now?! are you serious? are you actually being serious?
random soviet government official 1 stands up. he looks around the room
random soviet government official 1: i am not going to tolerate your behavior, random soviet government official 4. get out. immediately.
random soviet government official 4 stands up also
random soviet government official 4: fuck yourself, you prick! i'm sick of how absolutely stupid all of you are! you're all just going to let this war continue? you're going to let people die? is that how it's going to be?! what do you gain from it?! you all know there's nothing wrong with the twerk. all of you know that. you sick, sick bastards.
random soviet government official 1 points his finger at the door
random soviet government official 1: get OUT.
the room is silent for what feels like 5 minutes instead of just 5 seconds
random soviet government official 4: you're all the cause of this. not gagarin, not anybody else. just you. you're killing our people. our legacy. remember that.
random soviet government official 4 storms out of the room. everybody remaining looks at each other awkwardly
random soviet government official 1: now, then, where were we?
random soviet government official 3: you know, i think he's right
random soviet government official 5: yeah. we're not gonna be able to handle this with a massacre. i'm sorry, random soviet government official 1, but we have to call this off. it's not working.
random soviet government official 1: you know what? have it your way. i'm done. it's over.
random soviet government official 1 leaves the room as well, leaving the rest of the officials clueless as to what to do
random soviet government official 3: well, what now?
random soviet government official 5: we tell them to stop, i guess
random soviet government official 3: but how?!
there then plays an announcement:
dearest soviets, comrades, brothers, sisters, whatever, stop. just stop. we're calling off the battle against the twerk. it's over. stop fighting. the twerk has spread beyond the soviet union. it's all over. we can't do anything anymore. we give up.
the announcement ends there. everybody is completely baffled. what the hell was that? was it a joke? was it for real? seriously? they think they can just end everything like that? they cannot undo the horrors unleashed onto the land. they have blood on their hands. and all of it could have been avoided.
and now, the twerk has spread beyond the borders of the union. the whole world is now twerking, and the soviets accept defeat against the twerk.
the aliens certainly spread the twerking joy!!!!!! 😁🎉
YOU ARE READING
the hidden life beyond our earth (and how it affects us)
Randomthis is a really good story. im not going to even say what its about you really just need to read it
