It Isn't Easy Being Queen

16. The Minion of Massive Annoyance

Could I?

I held up my arm to silence him and cleared my throat while I tried to decide whether to let him think I was a good person.

Pros of lying: Blade would like me and maybe help me find my dads and escape.

Cons of lying: Blade would despise me, and I'd never find out what his curls felt like.

But that was idiotic! I didn't want to feel his curls!

Did I?

He poked me again in the forehead.

"Hey!" I said. "Stop doing that!"

"Sorry, I thought maybe you were unconscious again since you haven't spoken in about five seconds, and that's not normal for you."

"You've known me for like ten minutes."

"I know you like to talk," he said. "Well, maybe 'talk' isn't quite the word. You like to pontificate."

"That's because I'm usually right, and you are generally wrong," I pontificated.

"Are you going to tell me why you're here?"

The lie burned inside my mouth, like a strong mint pressed into the tip of my tongue. My idiotic conscience swept in, battling my better judgment, and winning. "About that ..."

"You picked your original self in the mirror test and are here strictly because of your poor choice?"

"You knew?" I flicked his shoulder with the back of my hand.

"I know things. Hear things. Okay, Malcolm told me."

"What a big mouth ghost. I'll remember that."

"Ghosts don't really have mouths. Don't mention it to Malcolm, okay? He's very upset that he can't eat."

"He's been dead for like a thousand years. You'd think he'd have gotten over it by now," I said.

"It hasn't been that long, and some people have a hard time accepting their circumstances," he said, leveling his gaze at me.

"Are we still talking about Malcolm?"

"I have no idea what we're talking about, but it's time for me to go."

"How are you planning to get out of this cell?"

Smiling, he held up the key.

"How did you get that?" I stammered.

"Took it out of your pocket when I poked your forehead."

Boy, did he look smug. I tried to grab it, but of course he was too fast. Grrrrr!

He closed his fingers over the key. "You're not getting this again," he said.

"But you're going to let me out, right?"

"You mean because you didn't leave me here to be eternally punished for not fixing Petronella's hangnail?"

"Exactly. I imprisoned you, so you'd have an excuse. I thought we'd been over that."

"So thoughtful."

"Glad you agree."

"I was being facetious."

"So was I."

"Touché!" he said.

"Oh, adorable. Using a sword fighting word."

"Technically, it's a fencing term, but yes."

"Look, Minion of Massive Annoyance, I need to get to that banquet. The only rule, as far as I can tell, is that I get there by any means necessary. And if you're standing between me and my escape, you might want to move."