𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐑 | j. kirstein

𝐯 | tomorrow

Iris tucks it inside her pocket as she closes the door. Not wanting any soldier, especially Shadis, to see her, she goes around the barrack, to its back side and leans against the wooden and old wall.

She opens the box, taking out a cigarette out of it, then lighting it with a lighter she kept under her sweater. Iris inhales the sweet smoke lingering in the cold air and exhales, throwing her head back in pleasure.

Unconsciously, her shoulder blades fall, feeling the weight they carry everyday lessen in a single breath.

"Iris?"

The cigarette would've fallen out of her fingers if she hadn't caught it with her other hand.

Iris snaps her head to the voice, "God damn it, Kirstein. Don't do that. My heart is racing."

Jean stood a few meters away from her. Shocked hazel eyes piercing through hers. She realizes why.

Iris throws the cigarette on the floor  and steps on it, dragging it with her foot to hide it behind her.

"Hey," she says, tugging a strand behind her ear nervously, "Um, what brings you here? Connie and Marco boring you out?"

He doesn't say anything.

She sighs. Runs a hand through her hair.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. Just pretend you didn't, okay? I don't want everyone on my ass. You must be disappointed."

Does Jean see her differently now?

Does he see her as a messed up girl that turns to smoking when something goes wrong and not the nice and quiet girl he's used to? Did she just ruin their friendship?

Iris didn't know what she would do if she did.

These past three months have been the most wonderful and confusing time of all her life. And it all led to that night on the cabin.

She remembers struggling to think of something else that wasn't Jean and the things they both said. It frustrated her greatly, and it kept on frustrating her ever since then.

Suddenly, Iris couldn't look at Jean the same way she did before.

Against her will, she started noticing things she had never seen before.

She came to notice how often he ruffles his hair, how he taps his fingers when he's bored, how he gets embarrassed after doing something nice for his friends and acts as if he doesn't care, how he always eats her corn because he knows Iris doesn't like them, how his light eyes twinkle with ambition and adrenaline when using the ODM gear, how good he looks in olive green.

How he has grown taller, how his once slim and weak body is now toned and stronger. How his chubby face was gone and replaced by his sharp features, showing the world the handsome boy he has grown to be. How his eyes were still radiating of ambition and arrogance.

Yet, she also noticed how soft and caring he is despite only being as a selfish jerk, and how kind he is to her.

Iris could spend all day listing all the things she has seen in Jean that nobody else does. Yet, she didn't know why she cared enough to notice such small and irrelevant details about Jean.