MIxed Bag

Four Dresses

A woman needs a minimum of four good dresses in her closet: one for a funeral, one for a wedding, one for church, and one for a date. Well, at least that is what my mom always said.

I didn't always listen to my mom's advice. Today, I am glad I did. Since I met my friends from Duskwood, I have needed all four in quite a short period of time.

The first dress was black. A long somber a-line that was devoid of sleeves and much personality. Whether Richie deserved to be honored or not, which is something that my soul hasn't settled on yet, he was a person that I loved. His funeral was quiet. Family and friends gathered to say goodbye. Jessy couldn't face it and Dan refused to come, staying by her side. Jake was still in hiding, but in my heart, I knew that he was safe. I would wait for him because really, there would never be another to speak to the corners of my soul. Tears were shed for the person that Richie had been, one that I had only seen glimpses of. Hannah was inconsolable, though Thomas was doing his best to cheer her. She carried a large amount of unnecessary guilt for what had happened both with Richie and before all of that. Lily and Cleo were quiet hostesses and made sure everyone's sorrow was diffused by full bellies. It was a hard day, but it allowed us to begin the process of moving on, and it allowed me to heal a little.

I brought Jessy and Dan back food and we talked and ate. Dan and I drank a little as was our custom. Jessy finally cried. It was the cry of longing and regret, one of missing the things that will never be. She remembered him in her own way. Hers were happy thoughts that were destroyed by deception, a conundrum that she couldn't make sense of. Dan, ever faithful, held her hand and listened to her speak of her love for Richie while his heart was breaking for both her and himself.

Somewhere in the early morning, my phone buzzed. It was a simple message from an unknown number.

I know today was hard. They are the luckiest of all to have you in their life. I am equally as fortunate. I will find my way to you. Soon, but not soon enough. I love you, MC.

The second dress was peach-colored silk, the dressmaker called it sunset blush. My hair was up in a loose bun and adorned with eucalyptus leaves and peach-colored ranunculus. Lily and I stood under the canopy watching as Thomas and Hannah professed their undying love to each other. The setting was beautiful with an ivy-covered brick wall set as their backdrop. The wedding was outside, under the stars with Edison lights strung about. There was something simple and pure about the way that both the decoration and the ceremony displayed elegance of Hannah. I looked around at people who know the couple watching faces of mixed emotion. Some were truly happy for them, others concerned this was a decision made too soon. Still, others hoped this wasn't just a bandage attempting to heal Hannah's pain. I saw a figure in the back, hiding almost entirely in the shadows. It must be him. A smile crossed my face and I tried not to detract from the vows. This was not my moment, I reminded myself. But it was, in a way, because as I stood there, he ever so slowly stepped into the light and showed me his handsome face. The world around me faded away at that moment. It took all that I had in me to not run to him. He smiled and my heart melted. Then he held up his finger to his lips and stepped back out of the light. I could still feel him there as he watched his sister as she exchanged her vows, I could still feel his eyes on me. My mind drifted to the day when he could have his arms around me. The ceremony ended and he was gone. I looked for him and found nothing. My phone alerted me of a message from Jake.

My love, that is what you are, the one that holds my broken heart. I know I said I will find a way for us to meet and I will. It is not safe yet, for you or for me. It took all of my willpower to keep my feet from running to you and taking you into my arms. I can't wait for the day when we can be unencumbered and can freely express our love for one another. Soon, it has to be soon. You were a vision today. More beautiful than I could imagine in my wildest dreams. I could not take my eyes off of you. The look on your face when you saw me filled me with pride and gladness. I will find a way for us. I simply can not be without you. Don't worry about my safety. I won't let anything happen to me that will cause our eternal separation. Dance and have fun. Soon, you will be in my arms. You already dwell in my heart.