May's Workshop Stories

You've got Mail

Content warning: If you are sensitive to religious topics and authors taking freedom with religious motives and interpretations than this story might be triggering for you. 

Another year, another pile of unanswered letters that were gathering dust on his table. Unopened and uncared for, just how he felt. With the fires of Hell burning behind them, creating strange shapes and shadows, they made him feel something he hadn't felt in a long time.

Lonely and unwanted, just like those wrongly addressed letters that covered his desk. He didn't want them. Didn't even care about opening them because they weren't for him. They were never for him.

Flicking his long red tail back and forth, Satan pondered the strangeness of it all. That the most innocent human beings, the children would have any contact with him, with the one deemed the vilest of them all. It was strange but also fascinating in some odd way.

Every year he would open a few of the letters. He wished to see what the children wanted from the most beloved figure out there, from the person he hated the most after his father, Santa.

This time he chose the plainest looking one, curious why the child didn't decorate it in some weird way or choose bright colors to entice Santa to fulfill their wish. For centuries he had seen so many crazy ideas, drawings and shapes, but nothing as simple as this tiny letter that had reached his desk.

"Dear Satan,

This year for Christmas I don't want any gifts. I don't need any expensive presents or delicious food. All I want for Christmas is for my father to accept me for who I am. To stop trying to change me into someone he wants me to be. I know I am not strong or brave. I am nothing like the other boys. But I am clever and friendly. Can't that be enough for him? Am I asking for too much if I ask you for him to accept me and love me the way I am?

Love, Ainsley"

Satan's dark eyes glistened for a few seconds after reading the letter. Paper shook as he gently lowered it back on the packed desk. Phantom wings started aching once again.

It felt like his wings were still there. Just like before the fall.

Before his own father chose to banish him for daring to be different. The pain in his heart that he shouldn't have been able to feel blossomed again as Hell shook with the strength of the emotion rippling through him.

"I should have known it was you again, Ainsley," Satan mumbled in his deep guttural voice. "You make the same wish every year. It never comes true."

Ainsley had been writing letters to him for quite a few years now. At first, they were as cheerful and colorful as the ones of other children who thought they were sending their letters to the jolly old Santa. However, as time passed, his letters started losing their vigor and beauty as the child was losing fate. His love of life seemed to be slowly fading away under the pressures of his father's demands.

Satan empathized with that more than he was willing to admit. Being unable to meet your father's expectations no matter what you did, always being second best... Things like that never stopped being painful. It hurt him when he was considered God's most trusted angel. It still pained him when he was considered his worst enemy.

All he ever wanted to do was gain his father's love and acceptance. He refused to be like everyone else. He needed to be himself and be accepted for it. Otherwise, what was the point of everything? If he had to be someone else to earn even the tiniest morsel of love.

This year, feeling more nostalgic than ever, Satan decided to do something he had never done before. He sat up and took notice. For the first time, he decided to take action.

"Dear Ainsley,

You were never asking for too much. You were simply asking the wrong person. Everyone deserves to be loved and respected by their father, no matter how different they are from everyone else. If your father cannot see that, perhaps it would be best to cut all ties with him and find a place where you belong.

A long time ago, I spent years, eons, trying to please my own father. Yet, nothing I ever did was good enough. It was always humans this, humans that. No matter how much I tried, he always cared about you more than me, even though you, humans, couldn't care less about him most of the time.

Finally, I decided to lead a rebellion. To change everything. I guess even doing that was to gain at least some respect from Him. Yet I got none.

I don't know how Santa does his job; or whether he can help you with this particular problem. One thing I can tell you is that no matter how much it hurts, sometimes leaving the past behind is the only way. If that doesn't work, you can always let me know, and I can torture your father for you.

Your friend, Satan"

Checking the letter twice, Satan decided that it was well put. So, he sent it out to the boy. It was bound to change his life for the better.

No matter what people said about him being evil and heartless, he always did have a soft spot for people with father issues. Hopefully, he could solve those for at least one person.