Trailing Stars (Trailing Stars #1)

Chapter 21

Nathan laughs kindly. "You'll be okay. You have a few hours until midnight to say something."

I sigh. "I know. You don't need to remind me."

Nathan starts to say something, but I hear Clara ask for the phone followed by scuffling, name-calling, and indignant noises. It brings a smile to my face imagining Nathan and Clara fighting for the phone.

Eventually, I hear Clara huff. "Listen, Mona, I love you, and I know you're scared, but I think we both know that you have to do this. Not for Morgan or your family but for you—Hey!"

Nathan's back on the line, asking, "How bright are the stars right now?"

Clara sputters. "What does that even have to do with anything right now, Nathan?"

He ignores her and repeats his question in a quieter but more urgent tone. "How bright are the stars right now?"

I frown. "I thought we agreed it doesn't matter how bright they are—"

"Maybe it does matter, Mona. Maybe the brighter they are, the easier it is to see them and reach out for them."

I guess that makes sense. Maybe if all I can think about is going to Morgan's grave and getting some peace, maybe that means I really want to do it. And maybe that makes it easier to do it.

I think Nathan senses the shift because he repeats, "How bright are the stars right now?"

I shut my eyes, tightening my arm around my stomach. "I think they're really bright right now."

I hear Nathan smile as he says, "Then, I think that means you can reach them, right?"

I nod like he can see me. "Yeah. I think so, too."

"I'll let you grasp some trailing stars then. Tell me how it goes later."

I swallow, standing and running my free hand down my jeans. "Okay."

I start to thank him and hang up, but he calls my name. "Oh, and Mona? Happy Birthday if we don't talk before midnight."

In the background, Clara yells, "Have a good sixteenth birthday!"

I shut my eyes, a smile spreading across my face. It makes me feel warm inside, and I have to press a hand to my chest to stop the feeling from becoming too overwhelming. "Thank you."

Nathan hangs up. I stare down at my phone until Nathan's name blinks out. Even after that, I stare at my own reflection on the black screen, nodding to myself. Bright stars tonight. Bright stars for a while, actually. And if they've been bright for such a long time despite being so close to such a massive black hole, maybe I shouldn't have been trying so hard to ignore them.

I take a deep breath as I tuck my phone away and head back into the living room, trailing my stars. I stop short, slamming into my stars and scattering them everywhere. At some point, everyone gathered in the living room. It makes my chest tighten. The stars slowly start to come back into view, but I can't decide if they're alleviating the tightness in my chest or making it worse. But there's really only one way to find out.

I clear my throat, stepping deeper into the living room. "Hey."

Everyone turns to me, and I try not to flinch or look away. Would it be too weird of me to ask them to not look at me? Probably... But if I have to look at anyone, I settle on Kate. She nods, giving me a look that screams you better say something.

I nod back and take a deep breath. "I think I know what I want to do for my birthday."

Mom and Dad glance at each other. The entire room feels like they're holding their breaths. Me most of all. I force myself to breathe as I wring my hands.