Waylon: *being dragged across the asylum* I hate everything about this
Eddie: OMG Trager!! Can you please give my fiance her gender reassignment surgery?
Waylon: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
Eddie: Relax honey it's like super fast
Trager: Well yes but actually no the reassignment part is fast but I'm extra so you get a FULL MAKEOVER
Waylon: I wish I got hit by that train this morning
Trager: Alright let's start with this horrid mouth
Waylon: What are you talking about my mouth's just fine-
Trager: OH REALLY THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE MORE GUM THAN AN OVERTURNED MIDDLE SCHOOL DESK
Waylon: I-
Trager: *pulls out three foot long shears* now let's trim those teeth
Waylon: UM NO YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT
Trager: WHAT DID YOU SAY
Waylon: YOU ARE NOT USING GIANT CAVEMAN SCISSORS TO DESTROY MY TEETH
Trager: OH ARE YOU A DOCTOR? DID YOU GO TO MEDICAL SCHOOL?
Waylon: ...no
Trager: Me neither so let's hope this works
Father Martin: *drops down from the ceiling* My children
Waylon: AHHHHH AHH AHH WHAT IS THAT THING
Father Martin: Excuse you
Trager: Nah I'm with him on this one why is your head shaped like that? Did your mom give birth with her legs closed or what?
Father Martin: OH YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT LOOKS YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE IF CHUCK NORRIS RIPPED APART A CHEESE GRATER- I'm sorry my child I was distracted now has anyone seen my bible?
Trager: Why would I have a bible
Father Martin: That's very true, you wouldn't have a bible or any book for that matter because YOUR COCAINE MESSED UP YOUR EYES
Trager: OH YOU WANNA GO OLD MAN
*they start fist fighting*
Waylon: Annnnnd I'm leaving
Eddie: Um no you don't we still have to get married now let's go find the caterer
Waylon: *dragged across the asylum again* I don't even know what to say at this point
Frank: nom nom nom
Eddie: Can you like not get blood on my fiance
Frank: HA. GAY.
Eddie: HOW DARE YOU MY FIANCE IS A LOVELY WOMAN
Frank: This MAN looks like what papercuts feel like
Eddie: OH REALLY WELL WHERE'S YOUR WIFE? DID YOU ACCIDENTALLY DELETE HER FROM YOUR CAMERA ROLL?
Frank: Nah dude I ate her alive
Eddie: That's hardcore I respect that anywho come to the wedding and bring a cake
Frank: Sure bro-ham buddy chum pal when is the wedding
Eddie: TWO MINUTES
Waylon: AHHHHHHHH
YOU ARE READING
Outlast: THE WEDDING
FanfictionImagine wasting an hour and a half in the middle of the night to write this. Haha couldn't be me I stole a lot of these lines from google images btw so don't credit me for these awesome lines
