Trailing Stars (Trailing Stars #1)

Chapter 16

Clara sputters, holding her hands to her chest. "But not when I'm in the car?"

Nathan reaches across the counter to hit her in the shoulder. "Of course, I drive carefully when you're in the car, too, you idiot." He settles back on his feet, his eyes turning back to me. "I just drive more carefully when Mona's in the car."

Clara smirks. "Friend-that's-not-a-sibling privilege."

I laugh, covering my mouth with my hand. Nathan's and Clara's expressions soften as they turn to me. It makes my smile widen as I drop my hand, glancing between them. "What?"

Nathan shakes his head, a contemplative look on his face. "Nothing. It's just nice to see you so relaxed."

Clara nods. "It's like you're ice skating even when you're not."

Huh... I guess it does kind of feel that way right now. And I think it's thanks to these two for being such great friends. Such great people really.

Nathan holds up his keys. "So you ready to go?" I blink, feeling my smile slip. He offers me his most genuine smile like he feels the need to smile for both of us. "I'll be extra careful this time. And we can talk about whatever you want to keep your mind off of the guilt."

Well... if he's being sincere—which he always is—I guess I wouldn't mind having him drive me. I nod. "Sure."

We wave goodbye to Clara and head outside to Nathan's car. As always, I wait for him to get in first before I slip inside. He waits for me to put on my seatbelt before he starts driving. Out of habit, I start counting my breaths while I watch the scenery pass by, but Nathan doesn't let me do that for long. He asks me random questions about what I think about stars and the night sky and planets and anything and everything that has to do with the sky. Whenever there's a lull in the conversation, Nathan tells me to keep talking.

"Say more," he says.

I laugh, pulling on my sleeves. "I don't think I have anything more to say."

He shakes his head. "No. You always have more to say. Tell me more about stars."

I run my hands down my jeans. "Everything I have to say is basically what we've already talked about." He waits. "Like stars represent everything and anything you want them to represent. That trailing stars follow you, but you can follow them, too." Nathan still doesn't say anything, nodding for me to go on. I drum my hands on my thighs. "And..."

Nathan smiles, nodding. "And...?"

"And there are always stars to follow and stars to follow you. Whether you know it or not or whether you want it or not."

"And?"

"And it's irritating."

He lets out a startled laugh, turning onto my street. "Okay. Explain."

He parks in front of Hannah's house, so there's no point in distracting myself with stars anymore but Nathan looks at me expectantly, so it feels like I have to have an explanation. I unbuckle my seatbelt to turn and look at him.

"Trailing stars are irritating because most of the time, I don't even know what's trailing after me," I say. "Or what I'm trailing after. It's just a feeling that I'm missing something or I feel bad about something or I need to make up for something, but I don't know how to stop trailing or stop stars from trailing."

Nathan nods, resting his elbow on the center console. "Sure, but I think it helps you grow as a person. If you think about what you're trailing after or what's trailing after you, it helps you learn more about yourself and think about what you need to do to be a better version of yourself, you know?"