Deprived

Chapter 47 - Sugar and Spice

Jesse felt his entire face burn as he fidgeted in his chair. Even after countless therapy sessions and nights where they shared a bed to sleep...

He didn't have the heart to go beyond a simple kiss. No matter how innocent Xavier's touch was, the disgusting touches from the past still lingered in his mind.

And each time where his past trauma reared its ugly head, making Jesse more than uncomfortable being touched, Xavier was there. Always understanding, never pushing Jesse's limits.

Even late at night, sharing warmth and comfort underneath the blankets of their bed. Xavier was always respectful, always giving Jesse space whenever he needed it.

And when the young Fey startled awake from a nightmare, kicking and screaming, Xavier was never upset.

I don't deserve you.

Jesse jolted in surprise when a piece of minty chocolaty goodness was pressed between his lips. Xavier smiled, murmuring "Yes, you do.", leaving the remainder of the chocolate mint muffin for Jesse to devour.

The young fey blushed deeper, plucking at the muffin while trying his best to ignore the butterflies squirming in his stomach.

His eyes watched as Xavier took several phone calls while he wandered through the house. Making sure to continue the conversation out of earshot when Jesse started working once more, allowing the fey to work without interruption.

When he was ready, he gathered the papers in a neat stack, stretching with a deep sigh. Jesse still felt troubled with himself, or rather his lack of energy.

Even when he was told time and time again that he needed to recover, that it was normal to be exhausted after doing his chores...

He felt like a waste of time and space.

Jesse knew to keep that thought well out of his mind when Xavier was around. The Improba wouldn't be angry at him, but would prove that Jesse was more than what he saw in himself.

Pushing himself out of his seat, he fidgeted with his clothes for a moment. Still feeling awkward just leaving the house whenever he pleased, go wherever he wanted.

So instead of heading to the front door, his feet padded to the hallway. Hair sliding over his shoulder as he leaned in and check both ends before holding up Sophie's box.

Xavier smiled from where he was seated, still in the middle of a long conversation. He winked and gently waved Jesse out the room, giving him silent reassurance that it was okay to head out.

Jesse hesitated at the doorway, swallowing thickly before opening it a fraction. Heart racing, hands turning clammy in a split second as he hesitated with opening the door fully before managing to push past the fear.

The street was a but busier than usual. Several Deprived halting as Jesse stepped out, wide-eyed fear flashing over their expressions as they all froze for a moment before realizing they weren't in danger.

There was a shared sigh of relief and apologetic glances all around before each one of them hurried to their destination.

It was fairly easy for Jesse to find where Sophie lived. He had already been there before, but all he needed to do was to follow his nose and he'd end up at her front door.

The windows to her kitchen were cracked open to allow fresh air in, letting tantalizing scents spread down the street. Inhaling the warm tones of cinnamon, puff pastry being baked and a hint of chocolate, Jesse knocked on the front door.

"It's open!" a bubbly voice announced, followed by a quick "Oh shit, the raspberries!"

Amusement curling his lips, Jesse pushed against the door, hesitating inside. Sophie was one of the older Deprived there, even though she was physically young.

She had already gone through most of her recovery process, making her wave Jesse over without hesitation. A spark of elation in her eyes as she finished layering raspberries along the dark chocolate cake before topping it with another cake layer.

"Jesse, come in! How was the surprise?" She asked eagerly, twisting a piping bag around before piping some airy, fluffy concoction over the cake.

He smiled, approaching her as she effortlessly decorated the cake without a single blemish. "They were good. Really good." Jesse praised, eagerly reaching out when Sophie nudged the cup of raspberries closer to him.

The tangy fruit was a delicious treat that he savored, watching as Sophie finished the cake with ease. "Good, not too sweet I hope? Sweetness is good, but too much will put people off of your creations."

Jesse assured her it was perfect, hesitating and keeping to himself at the edge of her kitchen. An unwanted stab of envy made him grit his teeth in frustration.

How can she move like that? So carefree, warm and open? Act like nothing has happened to her?

Even from this distance, Jesse saw the multiple brutal scars that were on Sophie's lower arms. Familiar bite marks, crisscrossing over her delicate skin along with some fresher, accidental burn mark from her baking.

"It takes time sweetheart." Sophie murmured with a gentle smile, making Jesse freeze, worried he asked the question out loud. "You aren't the first Deprived who has wondered the same thing. Won't be the last either. It's okay."

She smiled wryly, shaking her head as she backed away from her creation before cleaning her hands. "Trust me, I was a mess when I first arrived here. Still am actually."

The young elf nearly scoffed, because Sophie was a gorgeous young woman, seemingly glowing with confidence. But Jesse also knew that a lot of the Deprived learned to hide beyond layers and layers of masks and bravado.

And then his eyes landed on the necklace that peered out from her blouse. A necklace that Jesse had seen before on a female vampire that had been horribly scarred by some traumatic events in her past.

A necklace that was brimming with magic and made the wearer seem normal.

Knowing where Jesse's gaze had landed, Sophie nodded gently before brushing the scars on her arms. "Magic can help somewhat but even this little charm has its limits. I have to pick and choose what it shows and what it hides."

"Thanks to this charm, people don't scream and run for the hills the moment I show my face." Sophie smiled. And for a moment, for a single heartbeat, the necklace flickered.

And Jesse saw.

Deep tissue scars, like flesh and muscle had been torn from her face. No, burnt away, twisting her expression into something awkward yet gnarly.

What happened to you?

"I wasn't rescued like you and the other Deprived were. When my captor's actions were discovered and he faced trial, he found it much better to immolate us both. Set the entire building ablaze with his magic and held me in his arms to prevent my escape." Sophie's expression hardened for a split second before she sighed and relaxed once more.

"Bastard died, that's all I care about. My recovery was long with multiple setbacks. But I'm here and I've come to love life once again. I love my baking skills. I love the kiss of sunlight on my skin, or the rain that trickles down my face. I love living. And I'll be damned to give it up, just to satisfy the last dark desires of one sick, twisted bastard."

Hearing her strength and conviction gave Jesse hope. And as he saw her beautiful smile nearly blind him, he forgot all about how Sophie looked without the charm.

Sophie was beauty incarnate. With and without the charm. People just needed to be able to see it. Which also made Jesse aware that perhaps, Xavier was right.

I do deserve this. Him. Life.

We all deserve this.