The Austrian Aroma (LSD, #5)

18. Higher Power

Higher Power

This isn't just a dinner.

It's a dîner-dansant.

It's a dance party.

I can't dance.

Not here.

Not now.

All the leaders of the First World will look at me, watch how I step on the toes of First Ladies and make me feel embarrassed, nervous, perhaps even scared...

Before the banquet starts, there is the closing speech from the Austrian hostess of the European Refugee Conference, a tall, blond woman in a red evening dress:

"Dear all,

» Today is Sunday. This morning, I went to the park with my two daughters. We took some old bread to feed the ducks. I saw something remarkable. Ducks follow Darwin's Law: the Survival of the Fittest. Some of those ducks are aggressive; they steal away as much bread as they can from the others. My daughters noticed that too. They told the aggressive ducks: «You've had enough. This piece of bread is for your friend, who had nothing.» My daughters follow Dante's Law of Human Qualities: when the strong take care of the weak, the weak can grow stronger, so they can take care of the strong when those are old and weak. My daughters are four and six years old. They taught me a lesson this morning.

» To understand that lesson, I want you to look around, look at all those people here, who have been talking for a whole week about what to do with all those Third World refugees who want to enter our First World. Some want to build walls. Others want to send them back. Others want to give away our tax money so their leaders can buy our weapons. For the last 500 years, it was US, the First World, who enslaved, robbed and impoverished the Third World. WE made those people poor. But nobody suggested saying «sorry». Nobody suggested we should go there, help them cultivate their land and build factories, teach them how they can take care of themselves. The aggressive ducks are we. Not one of those refugees is welcome at our table. We have seven courses and still we don't have enough to share our wealth with someone who has nothing. The aggressive ducks are WE. The lesson I learnt today was: the next generation will do a better job than we did.

» We should be ashamed of ourselves.

» I wish you a pleasant meal."

The lady in red gets a standing ovation, both from Shirley and from me. We are the only ones. Everybody is staring at us. I don't care. I've had a courage transfusion. I'm not afraid of anything, and least of standing up for people who need our help. And being a team with Shirley, who shouts: "God is a woman! God is a mother!", I have hope that the end of the world will not be humanities greatest achievement, that our children will listen to their god-mother instead of their animal instinct, and that we will listen to our children so we can learn how to give them the world they like best.

The seven-course dinner offers time and space to dance between every two dishes.

I can't dance.

I'll do everything to save the world. Last week, I've jumped off the wall of a high castle, I rode a savage wild donkey and risked my life in a speedboat, I've broken the world record Glacier Bouncing for Snowballs, I've looked Death in the eye, more than once, and I've even kissed a frog and turned her into a princess. I've done absolutely everything, and I've helped Shirley, so she could save the world. Together with Shirley, I can do anything, except...

I don't dance. I don't sing and I don't dance. Singing is here in the professional hands and nightingale throats of the Spittaler Spitze, so I don't have to worry about it. It's the dancing that makes me cry for help and wish to leave. Shirley wants to dance, and she wants to dance with me. And «dancing» doesn't mean imitating monkeys at a five-metre distance from each other. We're talking about five years of intensive training by professional teachers, about gliding and sliding with style and pleasure. Stepping on toes is a capital crime here. This is the top of society, all tall and beautiful, moving with grace. A clumsy short #5 Runner of the LSD would stand out here like a wheelchair in a Formula 1 race. I can't do this.