SUMMER CHILD, emily prentiss

𝟎𝟎𝟕

"𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬"
𝑁𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 25, 2022
•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•
ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: 𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘤 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘬, 𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘶𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧－𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮, 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳
－
𝐚/𝐧: ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀ sᴇᴍɪ-sʜᴏʀᴛ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪᴛ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ sᴏ ɪ ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ. (ᴡɪᴛʜ ʟᴏᴛs ᴏꜰ ᴇᴍɪʟʏ/ᴄʜᴀʀʟᴏᴛᴛᴇ ᴀɴɢsᴛ & ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛ)

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

"I'm sorry," Charlotte whimpered.

Emily could feel her daughter's entire body shaking, so she took the liberty to walk them over to the couch to sit down.

"I can't breathe." Charlotte could feel her heart pounding in her ears, and she looked up at her mom with fear in her eyes. But her vision was disfigured, and it was making her dizzy.

"Okay, listen to my voice. I'm right here." Emily was careful not to touch Charlotte, she knows that can make her feel worse; suffocated and overstimulated.

"I need you to breathe with me, in and out. Can you do that?" Charlotte nods slightly through her sobs and closes her eyes.

Charlotte takes a deep breath but it chokes her, the air coming out shaky, and she panics more.

"It's okay, take a smaller breath. I'm right here. You're safe." Emily speaks calmly, making her deep breaths audible so Charlotte can follow her.

Charlotte is able to take a few good deep breaths, opening her eyes slowly through the continuous stream of tears.

"You're doing great. Just keep breathing with me." Emily finally reaches for her daughter's hand, knowing it's safe to do so.

Charlotte takes it and holds on tight, the touch grounding her a bit more.

Part of her feels embarrassed. Even though her mom has talked her down from countless panic attacks, this one feels different. Charlotte feels more vulnerable.

As Charlotte's breathing becomes more steady after minutes of sitting in silence, Emily takes the opportunity to speak.

"How do you feel now?"

The girl feels better physically, the pain in her chest subsiding, but she doesn't know how she feels emotionally. Charlotte stares blankly in front of her, trying to come up with the right words. But she can't.

"I'm okay." She responds shakily, lightly clearing her throat.

Emily places her hand on her daughters back, and she leans into the touch, placing her head on Emily's chest.

"Honey, I know you're not. Talk to me."

Charlotte responds by wrapping her arms around Emily's waist.

"I want to. I just don't know how."

A tear falls, this time from Emily.

"There's so much, I don't know where to start." Charlotte explains further, unraveling herself from her mother's grasp and straightening her posture.

"Okay, why don't you pick something, and start there?"

"Okay." She looks up at her mom, and sees her warm comforting eyes, the same ones she saw the day Emily found her just over four years ago.

And then there he is, her father, standing over her. Then he's gone and her eyes meet Emily's once again.

"I thought that going to college would be good for me. I thought that I would be able to put my past aside and focus on my music. I thought that once I got over the hump of being away from home I would be fine and would be able to enjoy myself." Charlotte's voice hitches at the mention of leaving home.

Emily's calm expression causes Charlotte to continue. "And for the most part, I did have a good time. I loved my professors, my classes were amazing. But about a month ago, I started having nightmares again. It took such a toll on me. I would be walking through the quad, and see my father, standing under a tree. And it was so real. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat..."

Charlotte stops to catch her breath, not going to cry but getting worked up nonetheless.

"Oh honey, why didn't you tell me?" Emily coos.

"I didn't know how. I felt like if anyone knew that I wasn't doing well at college, I would just be seen as a failure."

"Sweetheart, I would never, ever think you are a failure. I could never be disappointed in you, especially because you did something completely out of your comfort zone. I would've gone up there in a heartbeat, just to give you a hug if I knew you were struggling so much." Emily lets another tear fall.

"I can't go back there, mom. I can't do it." Charlotte finally cries, the words lifting the weight off her chest.

"You don't have to baby, you don't have to." Emily soothes as she pulls her daughter into her arms.

Emily slowly rocks them back and forth, Charlotte feeling like a little kid. But she needed this, she needed to be held, to feel safe.

"Mama." Charlotte whispers into Emily's shoulder.

"Yeah?" Emily pulls back from the embrace, stroking the hair out of her daughter's face.

Charlotte looks down, trying to decide whether she should say the thing she wants to say, or whether she shouldn't bring it up.

Emily lifts her chin to look in her eyes, seeing sadness, fear.

"Talk to me, honey."

"I- I've been..." a pause and a breath. "I've been hurting myself again."

Charlotte looks away, not wanting to see the hurt on her mother's face.

Charlotte waits for a response, and looks over at her mom to see her crying, trying to find the right words.

"I'm sorry mom," Charlotte whispers.

Emily takes a shaky breath, her voice quavering as she tries to speak.

"Give it to me."

"What?" Charlotte asks confused.

"Give it to me, all of it. All of your pain, I can handle it. God, I would do anything to take away all of that hurt. Just give it all to me, baby." Emily breaks down, causing Charlotte to cry and fall onto her mom once again.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Emily repeats, holding her daughter close, both of them in hysterics.

-

I've rarely seen my mother cry, she always puts on a strong front for me.

But when I hurt, she hurts just as much. So, I thought that by prolonging the conversation I would be sparing her pain, when in reality I just shattered her heart.

Now all she can think about is the nights I was broken, when she wasn't there to put me back together. And here we are, both falling apart because I was too weak to admit I needed help.

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ᴛʜᴀɴᴋs ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀs ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs!