𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 || CAM BRIEL

|21|

I frowned, swallowed a hard lump in my throat as I averted my gaze, couldn't keep denying the truth, "I'm scared of myself, mom, this is much worse than I had before,— isn't it?"

"You were only six when it happened the first time, (Y/n), and it wasn't your fault, and this time as well." Mom holding my fist that was clenching the blanket, mixed emotions coursing through me, she added, "You just need a big help, you don't know what is going on with you." I admired my mom more than my dad, she knew who I am and knows how to care emotionally somehow even though she, such as my father, is a workaholic who doesn't have a quality time with their kid, and now look at me, I was a mess, I go to parties, hang out with fake friends and boys for boredom, but that was all in the past, I feel like a new different person now since this incident. However, I just wish Mom wouldn't sugarcoat everything to make me feel better, because by facing reality already makes me feel worse than ever.

I noticed the cops peering over us through the three-inch open door. My heart sinking as my mother finished her sentence, I gulped anxiously,  "Did I hurt a lot of people?" I asked. Although she has a point, she was aware of my schizophrenia, she was also aware that every time I see something, something bad happens next, which seemed more than coincidence. Mom's lips quivered, doubting her willingness to respond, so she gave a little shrug and head shake instead, squeezed my hand in comfort, and managed a small nervous smile on her face before slowly getting up and heading to the door to let the cops in to interview me.

"(Y/n) (L/n), you are charged with the murder of Jeremiah Klyne."

"Wait what?" My heart heaved, and I drew my knees close to my chest, panicking. This is much worse than the last time, but this time I actually killed someone. I had no clear memory of killing Jerry, but his screams began to haunt me, and all I could remember was fire, only fire spreading in my vision from that room.

As I stared down at my dextrose hose inserted in my skin and caressing it while I spaced out, the police's long question began muffling when my sudden thoughts running through my mind, hearing noises of flames crackling and people screaming in fear in that party house on fire.

༛

The shackle glinted in the sunlight as I was caressing it, and I guess I'm officially on probation like these troubled teenagers around me who are stuck in this punishment with three military officers.

"Oi, get up! Get up everyone! We haven't finished cutting branches yet." Randy yelled. We started at 7 a.m., and they gave us this Sword & Cross P.E. uniforms, this outfit only served as probation, and today we were having a punishment for the irresponsible things we did in the school, such as what I did yesterday with Molly, who couldn't stop giving me angry glances in the distance every minute. She despises me for reasons I don't understand.

It had been about two hours, and we were a little far away in the back of the castle, somewhere in the forest, when they assigned us this task of physical training, which is what ROTC does, to discipline us troubled teenagers who need to learn a lesson and just to be a responsible kid mentally and emotionally. I'm not sure if this harsh punishment will help us in the long run because some of these teenagers, like me, were mentally ill.

After zoning out and taking a sip of my bottled water, I noticed people around me giving me dirty and judgmental looks. I'm sure they heard about my fight with Molly and her announcing to everyone that I was a murderer who set a house on fire with people inside, which— is not true. I wish I could say something and remember what really happened, but I guess I can't control what people think of me. Arriane approached me and extended her hand to assist me in getting to my feet. "You okay?" she asked, little bit concerned.