092 ━━ fighting the feeling

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also btw im aware emerson was in s3 but ngl i hated him and thought he was a stupid cockroach and should've died so i murdered him <3 this basically just means octavia jasper and raven dont get kidnapped by him and all live happily ever after and can continue trying to stop alie woo so simple

also AHHHA 3 more episodes and then this book is DONE im so excited

wait im so sad im rewatching and pike was such a cool guy before he got down on the ground man wtf happened to him he became such a rat

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LACKING CONTROL of your own body was a strange sensation. She could hear everything, feel everything, smell everything- yet she was not capable of controlling what she touched, what she felt, and what she heard.

Iona merely watched as her body marched onward, continuing in her journey with Alie by her side to control her- it was awful and Iona was beginning to regret ever taking- or considering taking- that damned chip.

In some aspects, it was nice.

When Alie didn't need her body, she'd tell the woman to meditate, and she'd do so without second thought. When she did that, it was like everything stopped being so awful and turned good again.

Every time Iona meditated, she was always waking up in her bed, Bellamy's arm thrown carelessly over her waist, his head snuggled into her shoulder. They'd lay like that for what felt like hours before the man would wake her with a gruff morning, baby and a sweet kiss.

After that, she'd greet Reina who, by now, she'd learned was an absolute night owl and refused to go to sleep at any reasonable hour. When Iona was waking up, Reina was just falling asleep, her head on the couch, her hand still holding the remote to something she called a TV.

It was an adoring sight, really, and Iona was always granted the honor of carrying her sleeping- or perhaps feigning sleep on some occasions- daughter to her bedroom, tucking her in and letting her slumber until it was some time past one.

By now, Iona had learned that Lexa lived across the street from her, always greeting her cousin with a warm smile every time she stepped outside. Eyvana, as well, seemed to live nearby, occasionally walking in front of Iona's house and stopping to knock on the door.

It was a life that she wished she had- in reality, she knew she was far from it.

Iona wasn't stupid. She knew everything she was merely and illusion. Eyvana was dead. Lexa was (despite not having proof) dead. Bellamy was somewhere out in the real world doing who knows what, and her daughter didn't exist- not in her reality at least.

Still, Iona enjoyed it.

She liked being able to pretend as if her life was put together. She liked to pretend she had a daughter, and a loving husband, and that her family was still alive, thriving as if nothing bad had ever happened to them.

In a way, despite her knowing it wasn't real, and merely a ploy for Alie to use Iona's skills, she felt comforted by the strong sense of imagination within her head.

An imagination that, as soon as she was about to lean down and kiss her daughter's cheek and murmur a soft goodnight was disappearing, wiped away from her vision as if it hadn't ever been there in the first place.

Iona was jerked to the harsh reality that she was just a puppet as, yet again, her body moved- but not to her own accord- and walked like a soldier seeking battle.

Iona's eyes, though not the pair on her real body flashes with concern as her uncontrollable body moves towards the summit. Her feet hit the water in a puddle beneath her, splashing around her.

If she wasn't lifeless- anything more than a robot- then Iona might've scowled as the cold sensation hit her legs, soaking her pants leg.

But Iona was lifeless. She merely watched as her own body sat down, crisscrossed, on the ground, almost in a puddle herself. It wasn't like she'd care if she had, though, staring blankly ahead as she awaited orders like a dog.

Iona scowled at herself, disappointed that this was who she had become.

All her training, all her kills, all her emotions, her love, her loss- all of it had led up to this moment. Everything Iona had worked so hard for, only to be flushed down the drain as she became a puppet to her brunette puppeteer.

Iona clenched her fists, internally screaming as she realized she was just so utterly useless. Perhaps that's when Alie sent her into meditation mode- perhaps that's the reason why she had to ensure the woman had no means of controlling her own body.

Iona was complex- her coding was far more advanced than that of Alie's own- and, despite how much Alie tried to control her, she realized she couldn't.

If she didn't act fast- if she didn't force Iona to succumb to her imagination- then the woman would do the impossible: she'd break herself free from the artificial intelligence overpowering her.

All it took was one little shove and Iona would do it.

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any cover makers that wanna help me with book 2 ><

GRIM REAPER¹, bellamy blakeWhere stories live. Discover now