Interview with 'em bitches

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Everyone sits down. Aaron and Lizzie are sitting next to each other. Lizzie is pregnant and Aaron has their daughter on his lap. All their friends are around them and their families are taking their seats.

Logan: Hi! I'm Logan Kang and this is the Wired Autocomplete Interview.

Aaron, leaning in to look at his best friend: No, it's not.

Logan, still smiling at the camera: Yes, it is.

Interviewer: Welcome, everybody. Thank you for being here. As you may know, your fans have sent you some questions. We're here to answer them.

Logan: So... No Wired Autocomplete Interview?

Interviewer: I'm afraid not.

Logan, scowling like a child: Fine.

Lizzie: Forgive him.

Aaron: You get used to him.

Interviewer: All right... Well, shall we?

Everyone nods positively.

Interviewer: Perfect. Our first question is for you, Lizzie.

Lizzie: Oh, yes.

Logan, mocking her: I wanted my Wired Interview.

Aaron: What's the question, ma'am?

Interviewer, blushing: Right. Yeah. Lizzie, how did you know that Aaron was the one? And don't say you just knew. Give us the real answer.

Lizzie, smiling at her husband: Sigh. He's really good in bed.

Lizzie's parents, Grace, and Aaron's parents: Woah, okay. TMI. Jesus Christ. Gross.

Aaron, laughing: You married me and had two kids with me because I'm good in bed?

Lizzie, shrugging: She said she wanted the real answer. He's also a nice person, I guess.

Aaron, shaking his head: You guess?

Davina: That is so gross. I did not need to know that.

Logan, raising his hand: I did.

Nate: Next question, please? This is getting personal.

Logan, under his breath: Jealous.

Interviewer: Okay, everyone, okay. The next question is for you, Logan.

Logan: Yes! Finally.

Cameron: They only asked one question so far...

Logan: Your answers matter less than mine. Go. Shoot.

Interviewer: We all know that you stripped for a while, right?

Logan: Damn right.

Aaron, with a hand on his face: Oh, God.

Interviewer: Why did you stop? And how much money did you make?

Logan: Let's see... I made... How much was my Dolce&Gabbana suit? And my Dior and Versace ones? Well... Oh, and my car, right. I don't remember how much I paid for my Porsche. Well, either way, I made a few bucks. He winks. Why did I stop, you may ask? Because I like my balls where they are, and my mom wasn't joking when she said she'd cut them off if I didn't stop.

Lizzie: I didn't even get to see a show.

Archie: Oddly enough, he turned out to be pretty good, so you missed out, girl.

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