Trapped inside this madness

Keep it a secret.

Sleepless. As exhausted as you were physically and mentally, you could not find any sleep. A thousand thoughts tormented you again and above all of them the big question: Did I do the right thing? What devil were you possessed by that you let yourself in for a night with Jonathan Crane? You had given yourself completely to him and enjoyed it. That was probably the worst of it, because you should have thought of a way to strangle him in his sleep. But you were lying next to him and couldn't take your eyes off him. He was sleeping peacefully. His dark hair was dishevelled. Why couldn't things be different? Why couldn't he be the one. Yes, it was silly to think of "The One" but you had an old, romantic but at the same time an adventerous and danger-seeking soul. You remembered how much you had wanted your own adventure and what it looked like now. Even though you had negotiated your "freedom", you were still a prisoner. His prisoner.

Oh, if things could be different. If you could just lay here next to him and thinking about positive things. About things normal women would think of while laying next to such an handsome man after such an amazing night. But neither he nor you were normal. He was Scarecrow. Apparently you had applied for the wrong job - it hadn't taken you long to unmask him. Maybe you should have thought about being a cop, right? A smirk flitted across your lips before you shook your head and rose quietly and carefully from the large bed. Almost silently, you gathered your clothes and put them on. Yes, again it was a dilemma, because you had enjoyed this night. You had enjoyed giving yourself to him, even though you knew what a monster he was. You really needed help. But he, your current psychiatrist, could not help you. On the contrary. He would only aggravate your psyche even more and enjoy the sight. Crane was the devil incarnate. And for that you wanted to see him suffer. To unmask him in front of everbody. So he couldnt get you down because all the evidences showed he was Scarecrow.

But how? How should you manage that? You had no connections. As Crane told you: You were alone. However, a thought occurred to you - probably impossible. But what if you could somehow make contact with the Batman? You were intelligent enough to know that Crane wasn't going to use his Fear Toxin ONLY on you. You were his test subject. But there had to be more to it than that. You were sure of that. 

For now you just had to get out of his apartment. The only question was, should you wake him  and say goodbye or should you just sneak out? Actually, you would tend towards option two, but you didn't know how he would react. Would he see it as a kind of escape attempt and send you to Arkham? Desperation rose in you again. "Hey, Jonathan...", you had decided on the safe option. Carefully you reached for his shoulder and woke him up. "I need to clear my head and I have to go back to work tomorrow, I don't want to lose my job and..." - "Shhh...", Crane blinked several times to get used to the brightness in the room. "Good morning, beautiful.", he whispered with a smile on his lips and pulled you close to kiss you. A tender kiss.

Inwardly you sighed. Why did he have to make it so difficult for you? This kiss felt so special. In fact, the whole moment. Just the sight of Crane with tousled hair in the morning. He was driving you crazy. "You're leaving already? You know I'm an excellent cook and could make you a wonderful breakfast," a thoroughly tempting offer. But wait. Did you just see the wrong movie? What happened here? He was attentive, loving, kind. This Jonathan made your heart beat faster than ever. Your smile was genuine. "I wish I could stay. But let's catch up, okay? I-I... I can come back to you right after work, of course." he shook his head and nudged your nose, to your wonder. "I'm not a monster, Y/N. I'm not one to hold you captive either. We have a deal: you're mine, I get to use you for my experiments and you...", he bit his lower lip, "keep quiet about all this. You won't have to go to Arkham for this - as a madwoman. So just live your life normally." 

For a moment you remained completely still. Not that it made it all right, but you were definitely relieved. You were a test subject, but you could still go on with your life - somewhat - normally? A stone fell from your heart. "A-are you serious?", Crane nodded, not breaking eye contact for a moment. "So, if you want to go and miss my breakfast... then go. I'll be in touch when your next.... appointment is coming up."