"𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐓-𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐄" - kozume kenma x male!reader

41 - exposed

pfft- nah i still hate them kids.

anyways, im awake right now so maybe i should get up.

y/n, who was laying down beside me, suddenly sits upright. i freak out because i thought he was sleeping.

“kenma.” he turns around, his face looking like he'd just woken up, obviously.

“y/n..?” i look at him confused.

“kuroo is a bottom...” he says, looking horrified.

i sit upright aswell. “oh my god.” a tear falls down my face.

“i know, we didn't deserve to know this, babe..” he pulls me into his arms.

i sob, “fuck his pre-marital sex rule...”

y/n jusy keeps comforting me because aha w boyfriend.

he even stood by me while i peed, what a great guy. where did i even find someone as great as him? he's so sweet.

he even made me breakfast! it was all going great until some hoe crawled his way into the living area.

“WHAT THE IN THE KILLING STALKING?-” i screamed out of fear.

y/n then grabbed a pan, very ready to attack him, “BEGONE, YOONBUM OR KUROOBUM? I DONT KNOW-”

“GUYS CHILL, ITS JUST ME, KUROO.” the creature yelled back in fear. yeah you better be scared of my boyfriend you hoe. look at his sexy ass muscles-

“can you guys help me up? i wanna eat some breakfast too.” he asked.

“no, eat on the floor, we're mad at you right now.” y/n frowned, “you made kenma really upset.”

“WHAT? WHAT'D I DO?” he looks up at me.

“kuroo, you broke your pre-marital sex rule...” i sobbed into y/n's arms as he comforted me, “and worst of all, you.. put a horrible image into our heads..!”

“WE IMAGINED TOO FAR AND NOW WE KNOW THAT YOU'RE A BOTTOM!”

“WHAT.” he gasped. “HOW DID YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THAT?”

“BITCH YALL FUCKED IN THE HALLWAY, WHO DIDN'T KNOW?” kageyama screamed, peeking out of a room. “ME AND HINATA WERE SO TRAUMATIZED, WE COULDN'T EVEN SLEEP!”

“sounds like a you problem.” tsukishima said walking out of the other room, SHAMELESSLY.

“oh yeah guys, about the pre-marital sex, i didn't break any rules!” kuroo started, “we actually got married!” he lifts up his hand to show us their matching toy dinosaur rings.

“THATS A TOY, YOU FUCKER-” kageyama yells.

“SHUT UP, HOE. ITS TRUE LOVE. I PROPOSED LAST NIGHT! THEN WE GOT MARRIED IN COURT!” kuroo protests.

“ugh. this is so fucking weird.” y/n gags, “this time, i need something stronger than coffee.” he says pulling out his secret stash of alcohol.

“i thought alcohol wasnt allowed, y/n?” tsukishima grins.

“you don't know what its like dealing with shit like this. i don't think even my future kids would trouble me this much.” y/n says after gulping the bottle down.

“you think we'll have kids in the future?” i gasp, feeling heartwarmed.

“nah, fuck them kids.” he replies, making me feel relieved.

“oh thank god.” i exhale, wiping off my sweat.

“oh and you're literally shirtless, who knows if you guys did something too?” tsukishima scoffed before taking a sip of some coffee. “the room you guys were in was locked the entire time.”

“kei, y/n sleeps half naked. theres nothing weir-” kuroo starts,

“that is true and yeah so what if we pre-maritally fucked?” i cut kuroo off and roll my eyes taking a sip from y/n's bottle, “ew what the fuck is this?”

“YOU GUYS DID WHAT?”

“its just really cheap vodka, babe. it helps me through times like this.” y/n clears his throat.

“gross, what happened to th-” i get cut off by a yoonbum parody.

“KENMA. WHAT HAPPENED? I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WOULD NOW KNOW ABOUT STUFF LIKE THIS?! EVEN AFTER I WARNED YOU TWO?!” kuroo screams.

“shut up kuroo, let me live my damn life, hoe.” i scoff at him.

“BUT- WHA- YOU'RE TOO YOUNG!” kuroo sobs.

“im old enough to make my own decisions.” i say drinking another round of the cheap vodka.

“oh my god, so yall fucked for the first time?” hinata gasps.

“yes, we didn't go all the way though.” i reply.

“OH MY GOD! HAPPY VIRGINITY LOSS! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT KENMA! IM SO PROUD OF YOU!” hinata cheers.

“this cheering makes me feel like a virgin again.”

-

a/n: i have no idea what i was on while writing this. dont even ask.

- twerks ✨