Stocking Stuffers || Top Gear / the Grand Tour

★ Warning; Do Not Drink While Baking Cookies

He's decided to bake some cookies while Jeremy and Richard are busy out doing some work on the farm. Realistically, he should probably be out there helping them, but if he's being honest, while he has tried, and he doesn't exactly refuse to do any work, farm life isn't really for him, and both Jeremy and Richard understand that. Surprisingly they're okay with that and are fine - most of the time - with him not doing much work around the farm.

And honestly, he thinks that he'll be forgiven this time for not helping them if he bakes a bunch of cookies. Then make a large shepherd's pie for dinner later. For some reason, they seem to think he's a fantastic cook, when really, he's not. Never mind the fact that he's got his own cooking show on Amazon, has published a cookbook, and has beaten Gordon Ramsay in a fish pie contest - which was mostly just pure luck, as he actually thought Ramsay's was better, but the judges seemed to think otherwise (but he'll gladly take that win). He was also a bit drunk while making it.

Although he does enjoy cooking and baking, surprisingly. Even enjoys cooking for other people, even if the only people he ever really cooks for are Jeremy and Richard. Or Jeremy and Richard's kids whenever they come over - and usually then he's got Izzy, Richard's oldest daughter, helping him cook.

He's not sure why he enjoys cooking, he just... does. It does give him some alone time away from Jeremy and Richard though, seeing as his two idiots aren't particularly fond of cooking (however they're not bad cooks themselves), so they don't tend to come along and attempt to help him. Most of the time.... There's been times where he's been cooking something and one (or both) come along and either try to help or just start bothering him. Usually ends up with one of them (Richard usually) bent over the kitchen counter, and something on the stove or in the oven burning.

Now though, as nice as it is to fuck one of them over the kitchen counter (despite all their aches and pains), he's pretty confident that that won't happen today, as Jeremy and Richard should be pretty busy out on the farm. He's not sure what they're busy with out there, but it should take them a while. He hopes anyway, as he'd quite like to not have his peace and quiet disturbed by the ape and the midget.

After setting the first batch of cookies into the oven, he gets straight to making a second batch of cookies, knowing that he'll definitely need to make a lot, while sipping away at his glass of gin and tonic (his second glass, admittedly).

He finds himself rather tempted to do a little experimentation, by adding some of his gin into the cookie mixture, seeing as it wouldn't be the first time he's attempted to cook with his gin, but he decides against it. Doesn't think Asian parsnip gin would work very well with cookies, and especially not with his American mustard gin. Just sounds a bit too savoury for sweet cookies.

Then again he personally isn't opposed to trying it out, and while Jeremy might also, he just knows that Richard won't. Even if they are gin cookies. And while it is mostly played up for the cameras, Richard can be a bit of a fussy eater. And Asian parsnip gin cookies just don't really sound too appetising, no less American mustard gin cookies. Perhaps he'll try making them one day though anyway. Maybe even carrot cake with Asian parsnip gin....

He'll have to log those ideas away somewhere for a future Cooking with Gin episode on their What Next? YouTube channel.

For now though, all he's making are a bunch of cookies, and a lot of them. Knowing that they won't last very long in this house, and he'd need to make plenty to hand out between their family and kids, as they all seem to enjoy his cooking and baking also.

Will mean he needs to make a separate batch just for Emily, Jeremy's oldest daughter, due to her dietary restrictions though, but he doesn't mind. And anyway, she did text him in the middle of the night telling him that she was having cravings for cookies, and asked if he'd make some for her. Because for some reason the only cookies she was craving, are ones that he makes specially for her. And he's not going to refuse to make her any.