Snow Crushing

Chapter 9

Camden

I don't think I've ever been this exhausted. It's not just the physical exhaustion from being awake too long and being with Noa all of yesterday. It is the mental exhaustion of talking to police officers, making arrangements with a judge, phone calls to my lawyer and trying to calm my crying son.

Aydin told the officers who found him at home that his mom would leave him alone quite often. That and the fact that Kelly was in the hospital after drunk driving with charges pressed against her, was enough reason for the judge to give me custody until our next court hearing in a month.

I've never felt this conflicted before. I am thrilled to have my little boy with me. That I don't need to call three times just to speak with him for a few minutes. But I also wonder what Aydin had to go through. Did Kelly really neglect him? Did no one around her ever notice? How could it get this far? I've been trying to get some form of shared custody or official visitation for two years but Kelly always blocked my attempts. And now I find out she leaves a toddler alone to get drunk. If she needed a break she could have called me, I'd have been there for my boy no questions asked. I just hope Aydin is actually okay. They had someone check him and he seemed to be taken care of decently, no malnourishment or bruises or anything. But what did he have to go through? Was he really left alone so often? Did she hold him when he needed soothing? All these worries are messing me up even more.

All I did last night after coming home was give Aydin a bath and put him to sleep in some fresh pyjamas. I noticed some stuff in the kitchen and in his bedroom but I was too tired to look at it.

I didn't sleep much, Aydin woke up crying three times before I caved and let him sleep in my bed. Even after that I barely slept, I just kept looking at that little boy. His tiny body curled into my side is like my personal heating pad. When I woke up a few minutes ago I was all sweaty and my shirt is sticking to my skin.

It's only 6 in the morning but Aydin clearly thinks it's time for us to start the day. I get us both changed and I leave him in the living room with some toys so I can keep an eye on him while I look for something to turn into breakfast.

There's a stack of notes on the counter.

'Merry Christmas little brother!'

'Noa and I got everything ready for you. She's amazing, honestly!'

Yeah I had noticed that yesterday when she rushed me out the door and promised to take care of everything.

'Noa made pancakes you can pop into the microwave.'

I open the fridge to not only find a large pile of pancakes waiting for us, but a fully stocked fridge. Fruit, vegetables, yoghurt, juice boxes, enough to last us a week at least.

The next note reads, 'We cleaned the entire place, you're welcome. We bought some winter stuff for Aydin, everything is washed and in his room. We also bought some new toys.'

I keep my house clean but I left in such a rush yesterday I didn't even think to put everything away. Good thing they were thinking clearly otherwise a box of condoms would still be on the night stand.

Which reminds me how I left Noa yesterday. We'd spend the entire day together, getting to know each other better. I definitely got to know her body last night, I can still hear her moan just as she was about to come. And then I ran out in the morning before I could even make her breakfast. Fucking hell. And even after that she made sure everything was ready for me when I came home. I don't think I can ever let her go after this.

There's one more note waiting for me. 'We'll come by around lunch time. The gifts wrapped in silver should be opened before we arrive :)'