Almost Forgotten

Chapter 17: Forbidden Fruit

I feel his mouth close to my neck as I am grasping onto him as if my life depends on it.

"I missed it so much." He places a long kiss on my jaw from the side. "I missed you so much."

"Landon." I whine when he begins traveling down my throat.

He is soft, but harsh. He is gentle, but cruel. He is good, but bad. And I want all of it.

But I can't have it.

"Landon." I stop him, pulling his head up as our eyes meet for the first time.

Pupils are as wide as I remember it the first time we kissed. And the second. And the third. And every other.

"Fuck." I exhale, shutting my eyes as I rip my hands from him whilst pulling my whole body away. Our shoulders are brushing when I tangle my fingers through my hair breathing into all the frustration of this planet.

I shouldn't have done that. I should not have done that.

"Winter." I feel the tip of his fingers over my back as I jerk my body away, not so subtly removing him.

"Do not." I hiss out, lifting my eyes to meet the others full of torment. I shake my head, biting my lip as it could help erase his one from there. "Why did you do that?"

He is silent for a while, confusion between his eyes when his lips twitch. "Why did I do that? You kissed me, Winter."

"It was your fault."

He laughs. He laughs at me. "My fault?" he repeats, nodding his head with eyes scattered around the room before he even awaits for an answer. "Right. My fault. How could it not be? It's always my fault, right?"

My hand is clenched into clothing over my abdomen, feeling an acid sick in my stomach. "You knew what you were doing. You did this on purpose of-"

"Of course I have." he throws his arms in the air, glaring right into my eyes when he steps back with words. "You could have said no."

I wish the building would open up, swallow me down with the dirt which isn't much different from me, then hide me. I have nothing else to say when I step back, wanting to be as far away from him as I could.

But it's not an honest want. It's formal and logical thinking about this crazy situation, because he is right.

But God help me, I could have never forced down that denial past my lips if I could have his.

Yet, I don't even manage to get far when he extends his hands, grasping my wrists, placing them together when he pushes me back to collide us with chests.

He bends his head down. "Why didn't you say no?"

I'm not sure if he is asking me or himself but I don't reply, keeping my lips sealed as they can be while trying to fight for oxygen. Nevertheless, he knows the answer even without having to ask it.

There is different, or perhaps the same kind of suffering in our eyes. If the pain could stop, nothing would change, besides turning us into emotionless machines, so I suppose hurting is the best way to feel human.

"You said I don't know what love is." he whispers, his thumb pressing down on my bottom lip as he clashes our foreheads. "You said I haven't loved you, but I think it's you, Winter."

I feel his harsh and hot breath over my cheeks as he holds my trembling body. My whole frame is into his, but each twitch and movement from my brain tells me to get out of here.

Run away.

"You could never understand what waking up and wishing I hate you, felt like. There are no words that could convey the self hatred which I had when each morning and each night I would miss you in my arms. Your lips. Your eyes. You."