Desire {18+}

Chapter 65

Vera gets cut off by Elena. "She?" She gives a confused look, looking at Vera for an answer, but she doesn't need to say the name before I realise.

No. No, she didn't.

"Harlow," I say, looking at Vera.

She tilts her head upwards and gapes up at me. Then she nods.

"Oh no she fucking didn't! She had no right to do that. What, just because she's a freakin' mafia boss, she gets to rule and choose how people do things? She's better know she's wrong..."

I zone out enough for my attention to rule out Sam's rant about Harlow. Realising who Vera was talking about struck guilt into me. I knew Harlow wasn't a good person when I took it upon myself to get involved with her. She did that to my best friend and I was still involved with her. She knew what she did, and continued things with me. Vera is one of my best friends and she knew that, but she hurt her the way she did and threatened her?

I didn't know what she did, but God I was getting fucked by her while one of my best friends was hurting over her actions. What kind of a friend does that make me?

"Elodie."

I click out of my thoughts and look up to Vera, who called my name.

"Vera, I didn't know. I'm sorry, fuck, if I knew I would have never-"

"I know. I know that Elodie. I didn't think you knew," She sniffs. "Look, I know you're involved with her the way you are and nothing else is going on between you, but are you making the right choice? I'm not pressuring - or anything - but she hurt me knowing you were my best friend. She doesn't seem to care. At all. About anyone." The look she gives me is genuine. I know she's trying to look out for me, it's something Vera does best.

I don't know how to reply to her. Because there is something else going on between me and Harlow, isn't there? It doesn't seem like just sex anymore. I've started taking a larger interest in her than I have ever before. Why? This wasn't what I thought would happen when I became more and more involved with her. But I also sense I'm not alone in this type of feeling. Is Harlow as confused as I am?

When I'm silent and looking for my words, Elena glances at Vera and Sam, then looks at me, a curious look on her face. "Is there anything else going on between you?"

My lips parted at her question. "No- no nothing is going on, it's just-"

Sam stops me from adding anything else. "You're off with her quite a lot. She asked you to help her out with something she shouldn't have asked you to help with, it's dangerous, but she chose you. She's going out of her way to teach you how to dance and use a gun and how to master self-defence... Elodie, are you sure there isn't anything going on other than the sex?"

I blink. She's totally right about that. We're together so often. She agreed to teach me, she offered me money to help her. She has done things that almost seem out of character for her.

"It's just sex, there's nothing else going on I mean- we don't do anything else, kisses, sex, that's it we barely talk when she isn't teaching me the things I asked her to."

Elena's head tilts down, her eyes gaping at me. "Kisses?"

"Yeah just while we're-"

"Kisses are more intimate, El," Vera says, looking up at me, the slightly hurt look from before still alight on her face.

I shake my head, but still, no words come out. I don't know what I want to say. I don't want to lie to my best friends, but I don't want them to think that I'm making horrible decisions. The thing is, Harlow hasn't shown me anything indecent for a long time. She's been completely fine with me. But I can't just let her off because she's okay to me when she hurt my best friend.