Ambivalence • Mason Thames

xv.

«Secrets I have held in my heart, Are harder to hide than I thought, Maybe I just wanna be yours»

'I Wanna Be Yours'
Arctic Monkeys

irl

Today's the day that I confess my feelings to Clover. I had Brady (H) and Tristan help me plan a picnic for us. I hope it doesn't seem like too much, but I just want everything to be perfect.

I told her to meet me outside the hotel where an Uber would be waiting to bring us to the beach. Brady and Tristan would be there already, setting up everything. I'm hoping she won't get weirded out and decide not to come. She exited the revolving door as the Uber pulled up.

"So, what are we doing?" She asked.

"We're going to the beach."

"Oh, cool! Is everyone else gonna be there?"

"Not exactly..."

I didn't give her time to respond before grabbing her hand and pulling her into the backseat of the car. We drove off and Clover kept asking me questions. I tried hard to ignore her and just change the topic, but she was persistent. "Dude, just wait and see."

We pulled up to the beach and got out of the car. Just as I expected, Tristan and Brady were running for their life to hide. It was funny and I'm pretty sure Clover saw.

I dragged her over to the picnic blanket and was shocked to see a beautiful array of food. It's shocking how well they put it together. Clover looked skeptical, but sat down. I sat across from her and we started making jokes. It was funny until she asked what we were doing here.

"I'm just trying to make it up to you. I hurt you and I'm sorry."

"Mason, cut the crap. I know that's not why you set all this up. Sorry, it's not why Tristan and Brady set this up."

"Fine. I'll just say it straight out. I like you, Clover. I really like you. And I know I messed up, but I'm sorry."

"You're joking, right?"

Oh shit.

"No. I'm not."

"Mason." She stood up from her place, wiping off the sand on her legs. "You can't be for real. I just forgave you. Literally a week ago! And you have the audacity to tell me you like me." She scoffed, slowly backing away.

"Do you hate me or do you love me?!"

That caught me off guard. She couldn't possibly think I loved her.

"Woah! Who said I loved you?"

"Isn't it obvious? You're obsessed!"

That felt like a stake to the heart. It's a crush! It's not serious in any way. She needs to relax.

"I'm done." She said, turning around and storming off. "Clover, wait!" She ignored me, flipping me off without turning around. That's just awesome.

Tristan and Brady ran over, shocked and out of breath. "What the hell happened?!" I rolled my eyes, running off in the direction Clover went in the hopes of finding her.

It felt like I was running for hours with no destination. Once I realized that I wasn't going to find her, I put the hotel into my phone's gps and began walking towards it.

It was getting darker by the second and I was getting more and more anxious. I looked up from my phone just before running into to someone. "I'm so sorry!" I stared at the person and realized it was Clover. "Clover! Just the person I was looking for."

"Mason, what do you want?" She looked nervous, like someone was watching her. "I just want to say I'm sorry. It was wrong to spring this on you when I only became your friend a few days ago."

"It's fine. I have to go now."

"I- okay.." Clover crossed the street to meet Madeleine and Becca. Ah shit. They probably heard by now. I can only imagine how much they hate me. That's just great.

a/n
Sorry for not posting in a while. Ever since I've started my new book, I've been hella unmotivated and I also started school again and I already have a test, so I've been really busy lately. I'll try my best to keep consistently posting and making sure the chapters make sense, but no promises.