The True Confessions of a Nine-Tailed Fox

How to Taunt a Catfish

In the vision that Yulus had cast onto the wall of his audience chamber, the mage's crock blew up. Rusty nails and scraps of iron went everywhere, shredding the eelgrass that carpeted the riverbed.

Yulus winced. That eelgrass was home to a lot of fish and shrimp, not just mortal ones but also younger spirits. Well, had been home.

Balanced on her tail next to him, Nagi tsked. "Mages. Always so violent."

Thank goodness she didn't have that when she came here, Yulus was thinking to himself. Out loud, he said, "According to Densissimus Imber, the mage drew inspiration from the rock macaque demons she met in the Jade Mountains."

"Ugh."

The water churned. Ten of the aforementioned rock macaque demons were diving into the river, cheeks bulging. They swam into a loose semi-circle around Lord Silurus' catfish hole and started spitting acorns into it. Densissimus Imber had explained that they planned to enrage him into coming out.

Unfortunately, not all of the demons had good aim. Some of the acorns ricocheted off the edges of the hole and plowed into the riverbed. When the first squad exhausted their cheeks of acorns, they pumped their arms and legs and swam back up, to be relieved by a fresh squad with more poorly-aimed acorns. Black sand and bits of eelgrass swirled through the water.

On either end of the zone that Captains Carpa and Carpio had cleared, the shrimp guards were tapping their feet nervously. Captain Carpa swam in a tight, agitated circle, while Captain Carpio leaned forward, straining to catch every detail. He was so obsessed with the steel-like acorns that he didn't notice a mortal catfish stray past him.

Yulus gasped. Nagi hissed.

One instant, there was a plump, silvery fish. The next – a cloud of blood and flesh churned where the fish had been.

"That fool! That big, blustering fool! You have one job! To keep our people safe!" Nagi shouted at Captain Carpio's image on the wall.

Well, technically, that had been a mortal fish, not a "person," but if it had been a spirit, that would have been a diplomatic disaster. As the ruler of this river, he'd have had to demand redress from the coalition, which he'd really prefer not to.

More worryingly, since Lord Silurus still wasn't coming out, Black Sand Creek spirits were getting bolder and crowding behind the shrimp guards to watch rock macaques spit acorns into his hole.

"Yeah! Get 'im!" cheered a loach.

"Ha! Take that, monster!" jeered a goby.

"Not so brave now, are you!" shouted a carp, cupping his fins around his mouth.

The shrimp guards tapped their feet and shrilled over and over, "Please stay back, please stay back. Do not get too close. It is dangerous."

The onlookers would drift back a couple feet, only to surge forward again at the next wave of acorns. Some were even settling down in the eelgrass as if they were watching a play. Crab vendors began to circulate, selling snacks.

Yulus was getting a bad feeling about all of this.

Den had cast a vision in the air so we could see what was happening underwater. Unlike Yulus' visions, which were full color and transmitted sound, Den's had only shades of greenish-blue and was a little blurry, as if we were squinting through the water of a murky pond. It didn't have sound either. Three-quarters of a year in the Wilds had increased his power, but not enough to catch up to Yulus' centuries of life, it appeared.