The Workshop: A "The Santa Clause" Fanfiction. (Bernard x Female OC)

I'll Make an Elf (That Looks Like a Man) Out of You

"But Charlie will love it. You don't even know where we are going yet, don't worry so much about it. I chose somewhere you might actually like." I smiled sweetly, just because he was not looking happy at all. "Charlie really likes you, he'd love to hang out."

Dad walked into the living room where we were arguing. "Oh hey, Bartholomew." His new game was finding new names to call Bernard, more points for the names he responded more negatively to.

Bernard just shot him a look. "Santa, do you really think it is a good idea for Angel to miss a training practice just to go to a some fair? We do not have enough time to mess around-"

"Amusement park." I corrected.

"Um, yeah I think you could take a chill pill and relax for a day," Dad said with an amused grin. "Maybe if you unwind you wouldn't be so uptight about me gaining weight."

"We can't have a skinny Santa-"

"I liked being skinny!" Dad snapped. He was mostly annoyed with Bernard since finding out that he was part of the reason he wasn't able to keep his old look. "I used to be a ladies' man, and now I'm just... some lady's grandpa."

"Can we get back on point? I told Charlie that I would take him today. Laura and Neal already agreed to let me have him for the day, and I'm not going to waste my day listening to you two squabble." I was growing impatient. Sure, I was just arguing with Bernard a few moments ago, but that was different.

"Go to the Amusement Park," Dad commanded. His eyes softened at the mention of Charlie, and it was obvious that he wanted out of this conversation now. "I'm going to work on my list."

"Don't forget to check it twice," Bernard added, if not only to piss him off further.

"You can check it twice up my-"

"Okay HAVE fun!" I yelled over his comment. "Come on, we have to get you in some better clothes." I started up the stairs and turned the corner into my room.

"I already told you before, I don't like wearing human clothes. They're itchy and always have weird holes in them."

"You can't wear a long sleeve and pants to an amusement park during summer. What are you, a vampire?" I laughed, sorting through some of his clothes as I waited for him to come upstairs.

"No, vampires are far worse." He answered seriously, which made me both aware that vampires are now a thing that apparently I had to worry about, and freeze momentarily.

"Okayy..." I raised my eyebrows.  "My old clothes weren't too weird. I had a couple of pairs of shorts that were guys's clothes anyways, they would probably fit you."

"I'm not going to wear your old clothes, that's weird."

"You know I could say a lot of things about you are weird, but I hold off on it because I am a polite person." I gave Bernard a look from my doorframe. "Upstairs, now! And don't teleport away on me, I will find a way to teleport to the North Pole today if you do."

He reluctantly went up the steps to my room.

"Here, look. These are nice knee-length shorts, nice and modest eh? What do you think?" They were a pair of long light blue jean shorts. I had found them a while ago in the attic in a box of my dad's old childhood clothes. They were a bit bigger than Charlie's clothes and seemed to fit me well.

"I'd be half naked."

"You are being a drama queen." I pulled out one of Dad's old t-shirts that he had put in a box for me after outgrowing them since he knew I liked to sleep in them. "Plain black t-shirt, simple, plain, you will look like you blend right in."