Changing Kitty

Chapter 11

“Money does not matter,” Kitty assured him.

“Says the girl who has never lived without it, the girl who has never wanted for anything,” he pressed. “I have money, Kitty, but not nearly enough to give you your lifestyle.”

Kitty sighed, frustrated. Why must all marriage negotiations be about money? “I don’t need my lifestyle,” she sighed.

Captain Aubrey shook his head solemnly. “You may think that now, but after months of living in a modest house with only a scullery maid and a cook for a household you will resent me for it.”

“I have a dowry,” she informed him. “A handsome one,” she continued.  “The reverend received eight thousand pounds when he married Annie. Would that not suffice?”       

“I will not take your father’s money,” he said firmly.

“That’s what Joseph said,” she recalled. “Papa insisted though, so Joseph set aside a few thousand pounds for the education and futures of their children and donated the rest to the poor.”

He released her waist and rubbed his hands together that made Kitty think that he was anxious. “You remind me of my naval cadets. They arrive so amazed at the crisp new uniform and the fancy, gold hilted sword on their hip – everything is new and exciting. And then they experience their first battle. They see cannon balls destroying beautiful ships and destroying young lives. Their innocence is gone and they realise how serious life is.”

“I suppose a cadet is better than a vain Greek queen,” Kitty mumbled, wondering where he was going with his story.

Captain Aubrey caressed her cheek lightly. “I would rather leave you on Friday knowing that you never hated me then promise you something that you would resent me for later.”

Kitty huffed impatiently. “Are you finished?” she said icily.

He nodded looking a little taken aback at her sudden mood change.

“Do not make my decisions for me, Captain, and do not pretend to know what I will and will not do. How could you possibly predict that I would resent you? My grandmamma lives by herself on her farm in Yorkshire. We spend every winter there. She doesn’t have maids or cooks so I know exactly what I would expect. I’ve cooked ... granted, not well, but I can improve, and I’ve cleaned. I’ve cared for animals and I’ve sewn clothes. There is a whole other side of me that you do not know, Captain.” Kitty placed her hands on her hips and awaited his response. She was quite proud of herself. “My little sister went from being Lady Anne to being Mrs Annie Preston and she’s doing perfectly.”

Captain Aubrey appeared to concede. “Perhaps I was mistaken. I do not pretend to know what you will and won’t do. I think it’s clear that there is no way of knowing what will happen next with you, Lady Kitty, but I know I’m curious. There is one crucial difference between the good reverend and me. There is no possibility of him being hollowed out by a cannon ball.”

The hideous image filled Kitty’s mind. She could see the violent setting so vividly. She could see his bright blue eyes becoming dull as he died. Kitty felt as though she would be sick. “How can you be blasé?” she whispered.