love, simon. (simon 'ghost' riley x oc (read caption!))

(26)

hi everyone, quick update on my situation.

we're ok, my dad is getting better but tests are still going on to find out what's happening and what needs to be done.

i've been using writing as a way to distract myself lately and i'm ready to get back into regular updates.

thank you for your repeated patience.

-anon.

—

"what in the-"

"i know." i said weakly, tears welling in my eyes.

"who-"

"everyone i've killed since i started in the army, minus major missions where it's shoot and run."

he pushed his hand down into the box that was filled nearly to the brim with dog tags that were not my own.

"how?"

"i don't know. started taking them as a record, then it became a habit."

"sarge there's easily 700 in here." he shook his head in disbelief.

"one thousand three hundred and eighty six. i counted."

he looked at me.

"i know."

"i know." i repeated, tears threatening to spill.

"jesus christ Anne." he sighed, using my name.

the tears began to spill from my eyes.

"i'm sorry." i whined.

"why are you sorry?" he asked, sitting down beside me.

"i'm a monster." i choked back a sob, trying not to break down.

he sat with me and wrapped an arm around my back, his hand nestling on my waist.

"you're not a monster. you did what you had to do. this job...it isn't easy."

i nodded softly.

"hey, look at me."

i glanced up at him.

"you're one hell of a sergeant, and i'm glad you and i met." he kissed my forehead softly.

"thank you mactavish." i rested my head on his shoulder.

"come on, we should get some food." he helped me up.

we walked into the kitchen and he helped me up onto the cabinet to sit.

"what do you feel like?" he asked.

"what do we have?" i questioned.

"we have a can of corn." he chuckled.