Gwendoline Christie MH and Smut One-Shots <3

Your Perfect My Love ~ G.C

(A/N) Just to put it out there, all my stories will be Girl x Girl and I'll be using y/n unless a name has been requested :)
WARNINGS- ED, body-image, self-hate.

y/n's pov
I've been dating Gwendoline for a year now. We're both in the acting industry and we met when we were both casted in 'The Sandman'. I never let Gwen see me struggle with my eating disorder, even on an incredibly hard day, but thanks to Gwen, it hasn't been too bad. I never told her about it as i didn't want her to leave me because of it and I didn't want to make her life difficult. She treats me like a queen and reminds me whenever she can how much she loves me and how perfect I am. Despite this, I still get the occasional negative thoughts or urges; it's not Gwen's fault though, she's everything I could ever ask for in life and I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Everything got worse when is was the premier for 'The Sandman'. I was already feeling extremely anxious and self conscious about how I looked in my dress, but Gwen assured me everything was going to be okay and that I looked perfect. I didn't need to tell her I was feeling anxious, she caught on to my anxiety and now knows how to calm me down. When walking on to the red carpet with Gwendoline to pose for pictures, I heard some paparazzi talking about how fat I looked in my dress, and how I looked ugly and weird and so on. I tried my best to ignore them and enjoyed the rest of the night to the best of my ability. The whole time she held my hand and whispered sweet nothings into my ears to comfort me and calm me down.

The day after the premiere, I posted some pictures of the event on my Instagram along with pictures of me and Gwen, and a picture of me that paparazzi took. Not even a minute later when I was on my way to the lounge to sit with my girlfriend, my phone buzzed with hundreds and eventually thousands of comments on my recent post. My heart dropped as I read the first comment. "Wtf y/n needs to eat less!! She looks so fat in that dress omg, Gwendoline deserves so much better than her!" I stopped walking and continued to scroll through the comments, hoping the rest would be nicer. "y/n is such a pig hahah" "Why would Gwendoline ever want to be with her?! She so ugly" "I bet if you starved yourself you would look a slight bit decent"
The comments went on and on.

I didn't even bother to reply to my gorgeous girlfriend when she asked what I was doing and if I was still going to sit and chill with her. Instead I simply went upstairs and locked myself in our shared bedroom. I probably shouldn't have, but I continued to scroll though the comments, only seeing nice ones about Gwendoline or how good the show is. A lot of people said it would be better without me though. Gwen did come up to see if I was okay, but I just lied and said I didn't feel great. I couldn't let her know what people had been saying and how much it affected me. What if she agreed with them? What if she secretly wished I was prettier or skinnier? I decided I would just not eat until I was happy with myself as my head was telling me that when I'm happy, Gwen will be happy.

Its been two weeks since that day and I haven't eaten anything proper since- besides from water, the odd piece of chewing gum or a cup of black coffee. I constantly have no energy and feel exhausted but I always remind myself that I'm doing this for Gwendoline. I don't think she's noticed yet though as we've both had lots of interviews together. Thats what I thought until the other day at least. I think because I've been so busy with the interviews I hadn't noticed her keeping a close eye on me throughout the day.

Gwendoline's pov
I've noticed y/n has lost a lot of weight in the past few weeks (not that she needed to because she perfect) and I didn't know how to approach her about it. She's never made me aware of her having any type of eating disorder but at the start of our relationship I did notice her reluctancy to eat as a whole. I never said anything as I didn't want to scare her off. It's killing me to see the life in her beautiful eyes fade away. She's my whole world and I don't know what I'd do without her. I decided I had to say something after I woke up and turned to admire her gorgeous face; I will never think about her or look at her differently from when I first met her, but it broke me to see how different she looked. She looked incredibly sick. Her skin was pale and her cheeks were sunken. I nearly broke down crying because I didn't notice . Guilt coursed through my body. Was it because of me? Did I say something or do something wrong?

It was 10:30 am when we both decided to get out of bed as it was a weekend. "y/n hunny?" I asked nervously. "Yes my love?" She replied turning to face me as she was brushing her hair. "Are you alright? I'm really worried about you" I could see panic spread over her face. "Umhh.. yeah.. why wouldn't I be?" Her voice wavered as she spoke. "I just... I don't know.. I'm really worried about you. You're getting thinner by the day when you don't need to be". "Oh right yeah.. I'm just trying to eat healthier, thats all." She insisted, looking at anything but me and fumbling with her fingers. "You're not eating anything at all though darling. You're perfect and I don't get why you'd ever want to change! I recognised on our first date your hesitancy to eat, but I never said anything in fear of saying something wrong.." I said my voice wobbly. I looked up in an attempt to prevent the tears pooling in my eyes from falling. The sound of whimpering and sniffing filled my ears and I looked at y/n to see her wiping tears falling down her gorgeous face. I approached y/n and enveloped her in my arms. She wrapped her arms around me and sobbed into my chest.

y/n's pov
Gwen sat us both down on the bed, asking me if there's anything I'd like to talk about. I decided it was time for me to explain everything to her. I explained how I've had an eating disorder since I first started acting but also how much she helped me through it without her even knowing. I mentioned the mass of comments I received of my most recent Instagram post and how they'd affected me. "I just want to be enough for you" I mumbled tears still streaming down my face. "You have always been enough for me, and you always will be y/n. Your perfect my love" she said in a stern but sincere and loving tone; whenever she addresses me by my name, I know she's serious. After I confessed everything she needed to know, I made eye contact with Gwen and simply said "I'm sorry". She instantly started insisting there was nothing to be sorry for and she said she's the one that should be apologising. "I'm so sorry I didn't notice my love, but I promise I will help you through this. I'll do whatever it takes"

"I love you endlessly y/n y/m/n y/l/n" Gwen whispered to me as we lay together on our bed. Our bodies moulded together perfectly as we snuggled into each other. "I love you endlessly Gwendoline Tracey Philippa Christie" I whispered back, emphasising the 'you'. We lay like that for only half an hour, but it felt like a lifetime full of comfort and security. I love Gwendoline so much. I don't know where I'd be without her.

A/N- Thats my first story done! I hope you enjoyed reading it and please send me requests if you'd like something writing :)
Sorry its quite long as well ahaha. 1440 words including this note🙈
My dm's are always open if you're struggling & would like to talk my lovelies <3