Secrets

Oh No.

Oh No. No, no, no, no, no. No, this isn't allowed. I have to keep it a secret. I can't let Slender know. I should have stopped thinking about it. Why did I think about it? I thought it was just a crush. I thought it would go away. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh I've done it now. I really have. They're gonna hate me. What if I confess and neither of them like me back? What if they're both straight? What if they're homophobic? What if they tell everyone?

I was snapped back into reality by the feeling of blood dripping down my hands and arms. "Shit." I whispered, getting up and walking to my bathroom, "I need to bandage this up again." I couldn't feel it. I knew it hurt, but I couldn't feel it.

I have CIPA. Congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis. I can't feel pain or temperature. That's one of the reasons I'm one of Slender's best proxies. I also have tourettes. That's why I'm not the best. I mess up because of my tics. The other reason I'm not the best is these stupid crushes.

I should just leave. Run away and never come back. Run away from love. Run away from them. Run away from Slender. Run away from Hoodie. Run away from Masky. Run away from Sally and Charlie. Run away from Smile. Run away from Jane. Run away from Nina. Run away from everyone. Run away from everything.

I'm packing up. Hopefully everything fits.

I'm leaving. Hopefully no-

"Where are you going so late at night Toby?" I can only make out Masky's silhouette against the dim fridge light, "And with a fully packed bag too?"

"I- uh- I'm g-going to vi-visit my s-sister..." I stuttered, at least it was a believable lie.

"Fine, but I'm coming with you." He sounded like he didn't trust me.

Fuck. "R-Really? It'd bo-bore you... I- It's just a gravestone."

"Anything's better than here."

Fuckkkkk. "O- kay... I'm le- leaving then, ca- atch up if you can."

~Timeskip~

"Why are you so fast Toby?" He panted out, looking around, "And where are we?"

"I'm so- orry, I had t-to get you fa- ar enough away..." I breathed out.

"What?"

"I was gonna run away..."

"Obviously, why'd you think I'd come with?"

"I a-always end up r- running away..."

"What from?"

"People, voices, p-places..."

"What this time?"

"...F- Feelings." I gulped before talking.

"Which feelings?"

"I- um, I- It doesn't matter."

"Oh~ I see~ Who's the not-so-lucky girl?"

"Girl?" He caught me off guard.

"Not a girl?"

"Uh- N-no..."

"Wha? Who?"

"W-what? N-no I- I ca- can't- I can't te-ell y-you th-that."

"Why?"

"Y-you- You'd m-make f-fun of m-me."

"No, I'd help you. I know all the local queers."

"Really?"

"Yeah... I'm all the local queers."

"...W-what abo- out Hoodie?"

"Can't tell you about Hoodie, I've been sworn to secrecy."

"Aww... Da- Dang it..."

"But... You don't like a girl sooo..."

"Wait... W- why do you care?"

"Because I'm the local queer. Now, where are we running away to?"

"T- tell me fi- first. About you and Hoodie."

"Only if you tell me about yourself first."

"I- I'm just plain gay? I don't really know, I haven't looked into it much..."

"Oh. Well, I'm bi and Hoodie's toric..."

"Wait- toric? Doesn't t-that mean he's non-binary?"

"I mean, yeah, that is the definition... But, again, where are we going?"

"It dep- pends, are you coming wi- ith me or are you ratting me out?"

He gestured to his shoulder, "Is it too dark for you to notice that I'm also prepared to run?"

"O-oh. How long have you been th- thinking about it?"

"Years. I've wanted to run since I arrived. Slender's the reason most of my old friends are dead. Why would I want to live with him?"

"F- fair enough. I'm going to Ly- uh- Blurry's Castle..."

"What? How?"

"W- when they came t-to see me yesterday, they gave me t-this." I pulled the portal shard necklace from under my shirt, "They sa-said to see it as an early Christmas present."

He stared, flabbergasted, "Blurry... knew?"

"They have been visiting me for a while..."

"I- wow- and Slender only found out who they were, what, a month ago?"

"T- three weeks a- and three days." I corrected him.

"Still... how?"

I ignored him, "Th- they said exac- actly mi- midnight... We still have a f- few hours."

"Hold on... I went with you to get presents for everyone... You still have all of those?"

"Y- yeah, I left Sle- ender's with him but the rest are with Bl- lurry, aside from t- the few they told me to hold onto, s- since they don't have the space for them..."

We chatted while we walked and, surprisingly, Masky doesn't hate me half as much as he seemed to – apparently, he was just really, really paranoid about people finding out he was queer so he pushed a lot of us away. When we reached the rose field we were still a little early so we sat down and I looked around, taking the scenery in more.

It's quite nice here... I wonder if   ̶L̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̙̬͔̮̠̪̥̦̩͔̙̇̎́̑͑͛̋̄̚ỳ̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶͈̳̣͙̫̟͒̍̅͂̋̆̎r̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶͇̝̦͙̠̤̱̞̱͕̮͙̒̍͊̊̋̀́a̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶̶͔͎̞͔̙̭̙̙̙̣͇̋͋͌̋͒͐̚  Blurry planned this... Blurry plans a lot of things...

"Toby~" Blurry waved their hand in front of my face, "Your disassociating is making me late..."

"Wha- oh- s- sorry..." They got up from their crouched position and held their hand out for me, "I- thanks Blurry..."

"I've gotta say Tobes, I didn't exactly expect you to let your little boyfriend follow you..." We turned down a hallway marked with two overlapped eyes as they talked, "So, I didn't prepare a room for him..." Blurry opened a door marked with a white operator symbol and turned to face Masky and I, "That means, Ti- Masky, you can pick." Masky looked up from the mini panic attack he was having before Blurry continued, "Would you like to room with Toby or try your chances with the others in here? It'll only be for a night or so, just so I can-"