chapter 7

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[Overthinking - Zoe Wees]

I was in the taxi on the way to Fabio's. I've got my jetlag under control and was relatively awake, even though I had to get up at 5 a.m today to catch my flight.
Fabio actually wanted to pick me up from the airport, but I didn't want to bother him and got a taxi. He contradicted me, but I was able to convince him.

However, my bad feeling about the weekend was still not gone. Every racing driver doesn't feel good after a bad race and has that weird feeling. But it's quite unusual when it lasts longer.
You might think two days aren't much. Neither are they when the feeling starts to stop. But mine didn't start to stop.
In the meantime I also felt anticipation of meeting Fabio, but unfortunately this feeling could not take over my whole body.

I noticed the car slowing down and when I looked out the window I realized I had finally arrived.
I quickly paid the taxi driver and thanked him, after which I made my way to the front door with my suitcase.
I felt my heart start beating fast.
Only now did I really realize that I was finally going to feel Fabio's warmth again.
And that thought made me go a little crazy. I'm slowly starting to accept my feelings. Please don't let this be a mistake...
I rang the bell and waited a moment.
The door opened a few seconds and Fabio's big smile appeared.
"Finally," he said as he quickly let me in and then immediately wrapped me in a hug. I hugged him too and tried to absorb all the positive energy that Fabio gave to the hug. I really didn't want to let go, but logically I couldn't.
After a while we broke the hug and looked at each other.
"I can't describe how glad I am to finally be back here," I said. And I really was.
As soon as Fabio stood next to me, my worries about my seat had shrunk at least a little.
"It's going to be the best week," said Fabio, to which I nodded in agreement.
"Come on, I'll show you your room first, where you can unload your suitcase," he said and took the suitcase from me.
"But I can do it myself-"
"No, no arguments," he interrupted me immediately.
We went up the stairs and instead of my suitcase I carried Fabio's cat Jules, which had met me on the way upstairs.
We walked down a hallway and then turned right, where the door to my room was. I remembered from the last time that Fabio's room was directly opposite.
He opened the door and put my suitcase down. I thanked him and let Jules down on the floor again, while she snuggled up against my legs for a moment and then left the room.
"Come on, sit down," Fabio said, indicating that I should sit on the bed next to him.
"It's best if we talk first, because you still seem a little depressed to me."
I looked up at him in surprise, not expecting him to start straight away with this topic. However, it should be fine with me because I wanted to talk to him, hoping it would feel better afterwards.
How do you always say? After all, talking is the best medicine.
So I finally started telling Fabio everything that was bothering me about the race. It was really good to talk to him in real life and not via video call.
Again, however, I didn't tell anything about the worries of my contract.
I've actually made up my mind to think less about this part and if I start talking about it now, I'll think about it way too much again.
Also, I didn't want Fabio to think I was too much of a thinker, reading more out of everything than was necessary. However, most of the time I'm actually that...

When I was finished, I felt Fabio stroke my hand briefly, which caused goosebumps.
He started to cheer me up, "Your first race wasn't the ideal start to the new season, but that doesn't mean that the rest of the season will be terrible. Nobody always has a good race. We can do this together. I think I can say I know how it feels..."
And that was the advantage of Fabio also being in motorsport. You could talk to others about your problems, but only those who practiced this sport really understood you.
He smiled softly at me, which I tried to return, although my smile didn't grow as wide as his.

The rest of the day actually passed relatively quickly and, thank God, I was able to switch off a bit of the confusion in my head. As long as I was near Fabio, the bad thoughts suddenly vanished.
The first day alone was entertaining.
We went out to eat and then spent the afternoon playing video games. I had to say I was a bit proud because I beat Fabio very often. But his excuse was that he let me win.
In between, a photo of the two of us ended up in my story. Below it was written:
"The best duo is reunited".
Well at least the reaction to this friendship on Instagram was mostly positive.

In the evening we cooked together and finally conjured up pasta.
Fabio was a really good cook, which I didn't expect from him. I didn't know why, but I was really surprised that his cooking skills were so good.
We were pretty exhausted that evening, so we decided to go to bed a little earlier.
And so I ended up lying alone in the bed in the guest room. So they came back at least now. The worries and fears about the result.
As soon as I was alone, my thoughts managed to catch up with me again.
Once again I tried to fight it.
I had to stop worrying so much about it. As Fabio said: There still 21 races and the whole season to come. Because of a bad weekend, I'm still in the team.
But what if the number of bad results increases?
Again I began to despair.
I turned over in bed, wanting to finally sleep. Maybe by sleeping I could escape my problems. But I only tried in vain, because I could not find any sleep.
Time flew by and I kept tossing and turning in bed, wrapped up in my thoughts.
I grabbed my cell phone. It was past midnight. Could I go over to Fabio's?
I was sure he wasn't awake anymore, but now I just needed someone close to me... I needed him close to me...
So I decided to just go over to him. I don't know why, but somehow it just felt right.
I walked out the hallway and then knocked on his door.
Maybe he won't even open it.
But as soon as this thought came to me, it flew away when the door opened.

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