The Fall Ball

21.Lucy

We had our own code names for the boys we found cute. Chase was at the top of my list. I can't remember exactly when I started liking him.

It was way before seventh grade.

The earliest memory was us playing house with a bunch of other second graders in the playground. Chase pointed at me, "You, you will be the mom. I will be the dad." Then he pointed at others, assigning roles for various family members to play house with. It was a fond memory that I had kept under lock and key for so long.

I felt skittish when he chose me. It was silly, of course.

I had always found him kind and handsome, and even at that young age, I just knew he'd grow up to be dashing. And I was right.

What's tricky about the earliest memories is that I don't remember the whole thing at all, just the smallest bits my mind decided to replay until they were etched into my memory.

I never told anyone about the crush because at that young age, I was too shy to admit it. But at twelve, when all the girls were confidently gushing about crushes, I had told Della. We used to share each others secrets without any hesitation.  She used to be very supportive of me. Even when it came to crushes.

I remember one incident clearly.

It was Brent Evans's 12th birthday, and he had invited the entire grade. Della and I rode together, wearing matching puffy pink dresses. Mrs. Evans, Brent's mom, made us all sit down in long rows of pretty tall chairs and served us cake. I recall the chairs being so tall that our feet dangled in the air.

During the party, Della leaned in and whispered coyly, "Don't look right away, but you know who just took the seat near us."

"Where?"

"Wait, he's behind Mrs. Evans." Della whispered. Just then, a whiny Brent came to tug at Mrs. Evans's skirt, and she walked away, giving a clearer glimpse of 'You Know Who.'

Chase sat, silently poking around his piece of cake with his plastic fork while the boy next to him was talked. I had squinted at him for a good minute.

I thought he was so handsome with his long, side-swept bangs that fell across his forehead. He looked like a cute page boy with his formal suit. When his gaze flickered to me, my gaze instantly flicked to the flower pot behind him and then to Della, blurting out, "That's a pretty flower pot!"

From that day onwards, his new code name was Flower Pot.

Reminiscing our memories, we laughed it out. It was so therapeutic. I was laughing with Della.It was so easy talking with her again. She knew everything; she felt like a friend again, and it was as if it was okay to just be around her.

I felt a pit in my stomach, though. How did I let this be taken away from me for two years?

I was glad we seemed to be getting along. "Brent's was 'Tuna' because you said his breath smelled like tuna when he almost kissed you in eighth grade."

Della snorted in response. "I think he somehow knew because when I was with him, he always carried around mints. He's always chewing on them!"

We both chuckled.

I had forgotten that Della had also gone out with Brent in ninth grade. I wish I had still been her friend to hear her gush about her first date and first kiss.  Jealousy hit me when I realized that she had also kissed Chase. Probably plenty of times. Chase does not kiss and tell. Who knows what else they did? It was none of my business any way.

"I'm sorry too, you know," Della suddenly said in a sincere tone. "I should have known better than dating Chase when I knew you liked him. But I did like Chase too. He was a nice guy, and I couldn't resist. He was pleasant to talk to..."

"I know. It's okay." I chipped in.

An awkward moment of silence passed between us.

"Sometimes I think I have my mom's vices and fall for fleeting men," Della sighed beside me.

"That's not true," I quickly said.

Della's mom had a long list of boyfriends, according to everyone in town. I've only met a couple of them while Della and I were friends. None of them were her father. From what Della shared with me, her father's presence was sporadic at best, limited to occasional meetings.

I never bothered prying further because I knew it made Della uncomfortable.

My phone beeped, startling me. I pulled it out to see a message from my mom asking where I was.

"Hey. I have to go now. My mom wants me home before it gets dark."

Della nodded grimly. "Okay, we can do this again some other time."

I wonder if she was talking about the book report or us hanging out together. I didn't ask. I stood up and stuffed my books back in.

"Oh, I almost forgot," I pulled out my physics notebook and handed it to her. "Today's notes. The lesson you missed."

"Thank you, Lu," she said, surprised. The way she called me Lu after all those years pulled at my heartstrings. Maybe we can still put everything behind us and be friends again.

"My mom needed some help with Cane in the morning. So I had to stay back." My heart tugged at her words. She was confiding in me again after two years. I nodded in understanding.

"Don't worry; you didn't miss much." I assured her with a smile, heading towards the door with my bag in hand.

"Lucy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for coming over."

***

I walked along the street, feeling a newfound sense of lightness. The realization struck me that I should have taken this step long before Chase entered the picture. The sky above me began to darken, and a sense of dread washed over me as I realized I had no umbrella. Despite this, I continued walking. A little bit of rain wouldn't kill me.

As I strolled, I took a turn onto a familiar street, the sound of my shoes crushing leaves beneath them in a satisfying crunch.

There was one more person with whom I needed to clear things up. He too deserves an apology.

I arrived at Chase's porch, my heart pounding loud in my ears as I rang the doorbell.