Short stories/ ideas

Enough

Depression and writing truly go hand in hand most the time so here's a poem I wrote. Probably not great though

You are "enough"
What an interesting phrase
A message given to those who don't feel it
Praise that never reaches their brains
They're unable to believe it
Push them to the edge and they might see it
You'll never feel like you're "enough"
no matter how hard you try
Your brain won't think fast "enough"
Now you're behind
How can I be good "enough"
When I can't fly
How will I ever be good "enough"
If my brain doesn't think right
It constantly flows
There's too many thoughts
I can't think straight
It starts to over flow, I feel my brain begin to rot
Now that's all I know
There's too many voices
All in my head
I tell them to shut up
But nothing stops them in the end
I'm tired of them, the thoughts and the threats
Why can't I just be good "enough"
it's all in your head
"You are enough"
What an awful phrase
I will never be good "enough"
All I do is complain
The more I complain the less I'm liked
The less I'm liked the less I have
the more voices that are added in my head
The voices are louder than any silence
"ENOUGH" damnit
"Enough" with the thoughts
"Enough" with the threats
I'm just tired of fighting, I wish it would stop
Just put on that mask, You always do in the end
try harder we know you can do better
My brain is too tired, I feel like I'm on fire
That's what it comes down to this brain of mine
The brain that convinces me in not "good enough"
The brain that never lets me sleep
Even though I am tired
Tired of trying
Tired of fighting
Tired of not being good "enough
I am not fine
Oh how I wish I could be good "enough"
Just this one time
If I can't be good "enough
Why do I keep trying
There's so many thing that I constantly dread
Like the red that I see when I start crying
The dread I get when my friends are upset
When they try to make their stories end
The dread that I feel when I fuck up
Because I know that red in the feeling of dread
It's anger and it all piles up
It piles higher and higher that feeling of dread
I fear that my thoughts will never come to an end
Sometimes there's a light, a sweet boy of mine
When he's here I always tend to smile
The thoughts say he'll leave one time or another
There's another dread I feel
one thought after another
My brain is on fire
All good things must come to an end
But my thoughts are bad so when will they end?
I want them to stop, they won't leave me alone
They don't listen to me I can't get them to go
"You are enough"
Such a stupid phrase
If I were "enough" I wouldn't be feeling this way
The world could just end, I could throw it all away
But I have people who care about me
So I shall stay
Though my thoughts they won't leave me
I know they will stay
Ill try and make friends with them
even just for today
I can never push them away
they'll never let me leave
So I will stay. I'll let them make me bleed
Honestly I don't think I'll ever be free
Though once in a while it's nice to feel pain
It chases the angry thoughts away
Allowing me to breathe even just for one second
One day I hope my thoughts will let me rest
Until that day comes, that phrase will still test me
That stupid phrase always in my brain
Always getting the best of me
Those angry thoughts all in my head
They mainly come out when I'm in bed
I've had a long day I'm trying to sleep
Why can't you just leave me be
I give you what you want
My wrists are full of scars just like you want
You feed off that pain, is it not "enough"
To the thoughts that stay and never bid farewell
I will never be "enough", I give up
are you finally happy now?