Hello, you would think by the date title that I seem to be getting better which I'd like to think your right but unfortunately, a few weeks ago I cried every night feeling more alone then ever.
And I really was it was a very very tough week I cried my heart out silently which it was so hard from how hard I was crying and you might ask, "why Paige? Why were you so alone and sad?" Well lucky you asked.
Or didn't. Anyways I was really sad because nobody had talked to me not a single friend I only have two well 1 1/2 I could say the only person that talked to me was my sister and we played Fortnite and Roblox, if she hadn't been there on the phone with me.. I don't know I would've cried all day.
Me and cede sometimes argue but that's just what sisters do but I've been so grateful for her and we're still calling everyday but let me get back to the few weeks ago.
Okay so it wasn't bad enough that my friend didn't talk to me, the first thing Jul said to me was that I needed to clean my room and put away the dishes and just got mad at me and told me Kenny was close to looking up my dads number.
She of course didn't know I had already been struggling that week and that hurt me so much because if you read my fewer chapters you'd know I have abandonment issues and issues with loving myself.
All I wanted to do was burst into tears but I couldn't because she would just call me 'butterface' because apparently that's the face I make when I'm upset I'm really stupid and everyone knows.
I'd like to think I don't have a war with myself everyday but I do I tried talking to my sister about it but she's not really the best person to talk to about it I was hurting, my heart literally ached that week.
And well you might be like well why didn't you write about that, that day and tell us what's the issue today well, I guess I'll just get to the point the issue I have is with my mother she's apparently getting clean now but I can't trust that.
Never can.
She's saying that she hurt me which is true she did hurt me, which im better now it's not just cede talking to me it's my little cousins my sister and alayah.
That's good enough people im really happy at least they talk to me and wanna play games with me right!
And im getting better at making sure my room is constantly clean! That's really good! But I don't know if im doing it because im scared I'll get sent back or because I want my room to look good.
To be honest nobody's fearless, we're all scared in the end. Not knowing where we will end up no matter how much we say we do, we're all just scared and so am I, I know I say I can handle being alone and not needing anyone but everyone needs a somebody and I'm gonna need someone everyone does, but so what I'm saying is im scared im scared for every fucking thing my life, school, friends,
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A girl who didn't fit in the world
Документальная прозаThese one shots I would call moments that I can't forget that are present when I write them moments where I feel as the Earth and everything in it hates me and when I walk the concrete breaks below it as I have to watch my step or one wrong move cou...
