Life With the Monkees

A Monkee Christmas

It was a week before Christmas and we were all getting excited for it. Peter most of all. He was so eager to get all of us presents and he kept informing us that everyday. in fact, just a minute ago, he said, "I'm really looking forward to getting you all gifts this year. I think the biggest part of Christmas is giving, not receiving" What Mike then said made me laugh. "don't get gifts like last year Peter" Pete asked, "whatever do you mean?" "the sports jacket you bought for Davy" "well I thought it would cover up the pants if it was longer" "or the chemistry set you bought for Micky, he turned into a monster" Micky told all of us, "yeah sometimes it still happens and I can't control it" then he lunged toward Davy and made a really loud growling noise. I was laughing really hard by now. "or the genius machine you bought for yourself" I don't think Peter was anywhere near being a genius. we were in an old mansion place and an old man came and greeted us. He told us he was expecting gentlemen and I had to put my hand over my mouth so the guys couldn't see my laughter. The owner of the house, an older lady with red hair, came out and spoke to the Monkees. "we're the band you hired, what time should we arrive at the party?" "party? you'll be babysitting for my boy!" Mike then said how much attention a kid would need but then a small boy wearing a suit and geeky glasses walked through the door and said, "that would be necessary if I were a child, but fact of the matter is gentlemen, I'm not" the woman went on to say how he wasn't a child and yadda yadda yadda. the boy walked up to Mike and stated, "i'm staying with you. please take my hand. it gives my aunt a feeling of security". then we all took hands and were dragged out of the place by the kid. at the pad, they tried to figure out what they could do that would entertain the kid and Davy suggested spending the day like any other. They grabbed their instruments since they usually played for me everyday. The kid was not impressed. first Mike came up with a game to play with him. it was simple simon says. it went okay until the kid made us all solve an equation that none of us but him could figure out. Mike said that Simon said to jump and Mickey almost knocked over his drumset. Melvin frowned at this Mickey tried to entertain him next. He took out his yoyo and different tricks with it. "how bout' some rock the baby in the cradle?" Mickey asked and had to keep the kids attention by saying "over here kid" repeatedly. Mickey tried and tried to get the kid to be happy, but it was no use. the yoyo flew up into Mickey's mouth and he stopped there and walked back to his drumset. "you wanna try?" Mike asked me. "nah, I'm no good with kids" Melvin made a rude remark, "of course you're not, you're a girl" he wrinkled his nose in disgust and I was offended. "that's it, I'm mad now, I'm gonna get him to laugh" Davy marched over there and all I could think about was how much revenge I wanted to get on that kid. Davy put his arm around the kid and said, "hey Melvin old buddy old pal! so how do ya like staying with us guys? pretty exciting huh?" Melvin looked up with so much hatred I almost had to look away. Melvin then said, "it would be a lot more exciting, if everyone around here didn't act like such... kids!" Davy gripped his stomach, "oh Mike that hurt, oh that got me in the kidneys, Mike Mike that put me down" the kid looked at Davy and said, "ridiculous" Mike remarked, "that kid's cruel like a machine"

then Mickey said, "wait, he's just a little kid right?" Davy replied, "right! should I go and beat him up?" "yeah! wait don't do that" Mickey said. I laughed.

we ended up going to the toystore where there were plenty of cool toys for Melvin to choose from. meanwhile Peter was looking at this odd-looking motorized bicycle. he began driving it around and lost control. the store employee screamed. Mickey showed Melvin more toys while I looked around for some that he might like. As Mickey was showing him a castle, Peter drove by on the bicycle that was out of control and knocked it over. Mike was checking out some decorating paper or cloth and Peter soon drove right through it. Davy, Mike and I watched Peter drive around and were startled when he headed straight towards the Christmas tree and knocked it over. Peter had to be carried out and Melvin watched with a look of disapproval. at the pad, the doc took a look at Peter and said he was fine. when the doc left, Melvin said, "how can anyone seriously discuss Christmas?" "What do ya mean how can anyone seriously discuss Christmas?" Mike asked. Kelvin answered, "well, give me one fact" "well, it's on December 25th, and it's full of cheer and goodwill and friendship and fellowship" said Peter. Melvin was rude to him then, "I said facts. not that stupid sentimental stuff that you believe. you've been lying to yourself!" Mike stepped in. "wait what do you mean he's been lying to himself?" "well everyone talks about the Christmas spirit, but I've never seen it" "well of course you have. you see it all year long, well I mean, people walking around smiling. that's a Christmas spirit" "a smile?" "well yeah sorta, it's not quite that simple but that's basically it. you try it, smile, you'll see" the kid tried to smile and it looked like he was growling. Mike nad Davy smiled as an example and so did I. Melvin then pulled the corners of his mouth up to force a smile. Peter showed him and when he finally realized he couldn't smile he swore using words I didn't understand. "what did you just say?" Mike asked. The kid repeated it and I still didn't understand it. "now you need some lessons on Christmas" "he's gonna need some lessons on Christmas" Pete repeated after Mike. "you're telling me" Davy said. we all walked to a Christmas tree farm with our sweaters on singing Deck The Halls. a woman was standing at the entrance and Mickey said, "smile at the pretty girl Melvin" "I can't smile" I almost laughed at that one. I did feel a pang of jealousy when Mickey said that though. Mike gave Melvin a lesson on Christmas trees and an old woman walked to the tree we were looking at. she got in a fierce bout of tug of war over the tree with Mike. Mickey covered Melvins eyes and the old woman smacked Mike.