The Tenth Ringwraith: a Sauron x Bilbo

Prospects

Seventy-six years earlier...

The Ring was meant to be on its master's hand, serving as a conduit of his immense power; to function as a connecting point between itself, the Nine, the Seven, and the Three.

It was not meant to be used to play pranks, but that is the sole reason it had been used these past few years.

Ever since its current bearer, Bilbo Baggins, had returned from Erebor three years previously, it had spent every day in a pocket and occasionally slipped on so Bilbo could disappear from difficult conversations and cause shock.

The Ring was not used to being ignored.

With its creator and master, it was perfect and served its purpose; with Isildur it used him as a puppet, leading Arnor and Gondor down its path of slow decay, ruling as a king until it discarded him for a chance to return to the Dark Lord; it had tortured Sméagol with memories of Déagol's murder as punishment for never leaving the Misty Mountains, twisting his mind until he was left as nothing but a worshipper of it.

Bilbo Baggins was different: he wanted nothing more than he already had, and was perfectly satisfied with what he already possessed. In every regard except one: romance.

The hobbit was in love with the late Thorin Oakenshield.

And, in the Ring's opinion, Thorin Oakenshield was nothing compared to the majesty of Sauron.

Of course, it was not jealous or anything, that was below it -or at least that is what it told itself.

***

"Bilbo." The One Ring said in the hobbit's mind, taking his attention away from the flowerbed he was tending to

Said hobbit looked around, looking for who had said his name, 'Hello?"

"In your pocket." It clarified

Bilbo reached into the said pocket, pulling out the golden ring within, "The ring is speaking?"

"Yes, I am." The Ring confirmed

The hobbit's green eyes widened and he dabbed the perspiration off his forehead with his handkerchief, " The Sun must be getting to me if I am hearing voices."

Setting down his gardening tools, Bilbo dusted off his knees and went inside his smial, pouring himself a nice tall glass of strawberry lemonade that was a perfect balance of sweet and tart.

When he finished the glass, he poured himself a second and took it to his armchair, setting down in hopes of clearing his head.

"Can you hear me, Bilbo?" The Ring asked

"So you did speak." Bilbo said, "I guess it makes sense, why should a magic ring not talk. Why have you not spoken before?"

"We did not have a connection before, we have built one these past few years." The Ring explained, lying as it could have spoken before but it chose not to

Bilbo nodded, accepting the answer, inquiring, "Well if you are sentient, then I should not keep referring to you as 'the ring' in my head. What shall I call you?"

The Ring did not answer immediately, it had never been treated as a separate being before, only as an extension of its master, so it eventually settled on part of the engraving on it, "Ashnazg."

"Ashnazg." Bilbo repeated, forming the word on his lips and feeling it roll across his tongue, "Do you mind if I call you 'Ash' for short?"

"I have no preference." The freshly dubbed Ash replied, for it had just given itself a name moments prior so it had not had the time to form an opinion on nicknames

"Well it is nice to meet you, Ash, officially." Bilbo hummed, taking a sip of his pale pink lemonade

***

In the months that followed, Bilbo was happy for the first time since leaving Erebor.

While he never truly wanted for company in the Shire, he could not with all his relatives and neighbors and aquaintances, he had never been lonelier in his entire life when no one truly knew him.

But now he had Ash, and his loneliness had faded away like an old stain on one's nicest napkins.

And while he was now considered a bit of a social pariah, for going adventuring and being half-Took and of course, having no interest in getting married, he was not about to make himself seem even stranger by talking to himself aloud.

Which is why it was perfectly convenient that Ash could hear him speaking mentally just as clearly as if he had said it verbally.

So, he talked with it constantly about anything and everything.

***

Bilbo shifted uncomfortably on the wooden bench he sat upon, trying to come up with an excuse as he sat trapped between his aunts as the wedding afterparty for some cousin occurred around them.

"Cedric Featherbottom was widowed recently." The aunt to his left, Linda Proudfoot née Baggins, pointed out, "His poor husband had carcinos and wasted away, it was an absolute tragedy."

"The poor dear, it is always so sad to be widowed so young." Belba Bolger née Baggins, the aunt to his right, agreed, "But that has put him back on the marriage market, especially now that the mourning period is over. And Cedric is next in line to be head of the family when his old father passes. The Featherbottom Smial is almost as big as the Took one!"

"That is true." Linda hummed in agreement, "And with him being a stationery trader you would never want for high quality parchment or inks for your stories, Bilbo dear, I do remember how you always loved writing."

"I will keep him on my list of prospects." Bilbo politely said, knowing he would do no such thing but wanting to placate his aunts

"You should, Bag End must be terribly lonely for you." Belba added, "Such a big smial meant for a family must be so big for one hobbit. It would do you so much better to join another family smial and leave Bag End for a newlywedded couple planning on a family. Like my son, Herugar, he has got his eye on that Jessamine Boffin."

"Perhaps." Bilbo nodded, "But as it stands, I am the head of the family, joining another clan would be awfully messywork."

"You could just pass the title to the next in line." Linda replied, "Which would be your Uncle Longo."

"And make Otho Sackville-Baggins the head of the family when he dies, absolutely not." Bilbo thought

Ash laughed in his mind, "We should leave before they have had more to drink."

Belba suddenly grabbed Bilbo's shoulder, "There he is! Go have a dance with Cedric."

Cedric Featherbottom was blond as most hobbits tended to be but he had the uncommon trait of it being straight instead of curled or waved, with hazel eyes and he was unusually tall and thin, but Bilbo found him very handsome all the same.

Maybe he would have a dance with him after all.

The Ring protested this line of thought immediately; Cedric might be handsome, he -like Thorin- was absolutely nothing compared to the beauty of Sauron.

Ash absolutely was not getting attached to its current bearer, it was merely using the only avenue it had to manipulate Bilbo, how dare you accuse it of anything else.

A/N: "Carcinos" is one of the oldest names for cancer on record. So Cedric's late husband had cancer, and unfortunately, there is no treatment for such in Middle Earth.