the choice • charlie conway

chapter twenty

sadie

As it's become closer to Thanksgiving break, Charlie and I have grown farther apart.

Since I go to Florida every year with my family to visit my cousins, the original plan was to bring Charlie with me this year. Now, I'm not sure if that's happening.

I've tried so hard to not let these last couple of weeks bother me, but it's really difficult. I'm questioning everything we had, because I'm wondering if any of it was real.

I don't think Charlie would be the type of person who would do this to someone for some type of bet, but apparently I don't know anything about my boyfriend.

The worst part is, I genuinely don't know if he realizes what he's doing to me. We've barely talked in weeks, although that's partly my fault for acting distant. My only other idea on why we're growing apart other than me being some type of bet, is that he just wants to give me my space because he feels bad about forgetting our anniversary.

I stare at the ceiling of my dorm and try to focus on anything else but him. We're back in the state semifinals, and our game is tomorrow against MPA. Pretty ironic that hockey already played them earlier in their playoff run, and now they're the team that's standing in our way of the state final.

Speaking of hockey, their schedule is so weird. If they make the state finals, they won't be playing until after Thanksgiving. Apparently there was some sort of delay with some teams that caused the entire schedule to be pushed back, so now the final is being played after Thanksgiving break.

Our final is a week from tomorrow, which is the last Friday before break. We get an entire week off for Thanksgiving, and that's definitely something I'm grateful for.

This is brutal. I have to be up in a few hours for school, and instead I'm sitting here tossing and turning. I check my social media to try and see if anyone is awake, and luckily it says that Connie was just seen on Snapchat. I send her a text asking if she wants to sneak out and get a late night snack, and she agrees.

After a few minutes, I hear a soft knock on the door. I check to make sure that Morgan and Ella haven't woken up, and when the coast is clear I open the door.

Connie stands there in a huge sweatshirt and fuzzy pajama pants with the cutest bunny slippers I've ever seen. "Holy crap, that sweatshirt is huge."

She giggles and looks down at it. "Can you tell it's Guy's?"

"That's Guy's? That looks like it would be big on him! He's so skinny!" I say with shock. "How does that thing fit him?"

Connie shrugs playfully. "It's a little big on him, but that's his own fault for filling out the form wrong when we had to order our varsity gear. The fact that he's tall helps a little, but not as much as you would think."

I think of when I wear Charlie's sweatshirts and how most, if not all of them go down to my knees. I'm not terribly short, but five-seven and six-one is a pretty big height difference.

Speaking of Charlie, I guess Connie knows how I'm currently feeling about everything. "So... is everything okay with you and Charlie?"

I can tell she's trying to bring the subject up carefully, so I wait until my dorm door is shut and we're out in the hallway to say anything. "I'm not sure, to be honest. In front of people, we obviously act like a couple. But otherwise, we barely talk anymore. And when we do act like a couple, everyone like you guys and my team know what's going on and see through our act. I don't know if he's trying to give me space or something, but I'm sick of my boyfriend being more of a stranger to me than someone I'm supposed to love and care about."

She gives me a sympathetic look and puts her arm around my shoulder as we walk. "I'll talk to him, don't worry."

"That's what Morgan said." I respond sadly. "And it's not that she didn't either, she did. He basically told her that he wasn't going to forget the anniversary and not to worry, but then he ended up forgetting anyway. I'm just worried that he'll say one thing that sounds like he's going to fix everything, but then does the complete opposite."

"I'm sorry Sadie." Connie says quietly. "I promise I'll do my best to help. I've known him for a long time, and I know that I can help if you give me some time."

I nod and lean my head on her shoulder, letting the silence consume us as we walk out of the dorms and across campus.

I use my student ID to scan into the building, praying that the alarms won't go off for being in the building after hours. I try to reason with myself that some teachers start their extra help as early as five in the morning, so this shouldn't be any different. Besides, it's not even two yet. It should be fine.

Thank goodness no alarm goes off, and the two of us are able to walk into the building without punishment. The only thing I'm worried about is if the dining hall will be locked, because that'll prevent us from getting to the snack bar.

Surprisingly, the door is unlocked and we are able to go in and grab something. Connie grabs an apple and I grab an orange. Definitely not my first choices for a late night snack, but fruit is all that's out. I guess the lunch people wanted to save themselves some time and leave the breakfast fruit out, so they wouldn't have to worry about it in the morning.

I would do the same, so I don't blame them.

When we go to sit down at one of the tables, we hear a sound coming from a nearby table. I turn on my flashlight and shine it in the direction of the noise, to find Faith sitting there and eating her own late night snack. I smile immediately and walk over, giving her a hug and sitting down next to her.

Faith Kennedy is our age, a star lacrosse player, and happens to be dating Fulton. She moved here at the beginning of last year from Maryland, and immediately became one of Morgan, Ella, and my best friends.

"Hi guys! I didn't think I would have company." she says, a blush creeping into her cheeks.

"Don't worry! We won't tell. I mean, we're here for the same reason." Connie replies with a giggle. "Do you do this often?"

Faith picks up her banana peel and stands up. "Not usually. I just couldn't sleep tonight."

We watch as she throws out her garbage and comes back to the table. "Do you guys want me to stay?"

"Of course!" I answer instantly. "Unless you don't want to, which I would completely get."

"No, it's okay. I'll stay." she insists, before sitting back down at the table with us.

For the next hour, Connie, Faith, and I stay in the dark dining hall, catching up and talking about all the drama that goes on in our school. Being on a sports team has its perks, because you get to hear about all the drama that goes on through multiple people.

We end up leaving the dining hall just before three, because I don't want to be completely dead for my game later. I know being out this late is my own fault, but it was definitely nice to have a distraction from everything for a bit.

When I get back to the dorm, I pass right out. I know I'll be dead when I have to wake up in a few hours, but that's what coffee is for.