Curse Breaker (2)

19

I let the sheet fall in front of my view, my eyes prickling as the wounds at my back begin to sting. I squeeze my eyes shut. The sounds of the forest fill my senses--the trickling stream, leaves rustling in the wind. They keep me grounded as my mind threatens overwhelm, washing away the image of Raven's bloodied body.

Cadence can't know.

With shaky knees, I kneel beside the stream, tearing a section at the bottom of my trousers and drenching it with water. Moving back over to the carriage, I take a deep breath before pulling the sheet back. She hasn't moved, but her eyebrows knit together into a frown, even in her slumber.

I kneel on the step of the carriage, pressing the cloth to her forehead. The water drips down the side of her face, mixing with the crimson red to create a faint pink as I wipe the blood from her skin.

I start at her head, moving down to her neck, wrists, fingernails. And as the blood washes away, my stomach weighs heavy with grief. Grief for Raven. Grief for what Cadence did.

When I've finished wiping the blood from her skin, I attempt to dab at her clothes, only managing to smear the blood further into the fabric.

"You'll never get that out like that."

I jolt so vigorously my head smacks against the carriage door. Spinning around, heart pounding, my eyes find Killian's. He leans against the trunk of a tree at the foot of the path back to the campsite, his arms folded across his chest. My stomach leaps at the sight of him, my heart calming.

"You scared me."

A grin tugs at his lips as he pushes off the tree to stroll towards me, that unspoken confidence lining each stride. "You need to soak the fabric if you really want to get rid of it, dabbing won't do much."

I frown, turning back to the stain. "I should be disturbed that you know so much about removing blood stains from clothing."

"There are many things that you'd find disturbing about me, Freya. Blood removal is merely one of them."

I turn to look at him over my shoulder. His lips have stretched into a proper smile, the kind that makes my stomach flip. There's a playfulness to his tone, a contrast to the cool exterior he greeted me when I awoke earlier. I don't know if he meant it that way, but his comment makes me think of his betrayal.

The most disturbing reveal of all.

I avert my gaze, looking back at Cadence. She shifts slightly, wrinkling her nose. "I want... I just want to get the blood off."

"You've done as much as you could."

Gritting my teeth together, I lean back against the carriage to face the forest.

"I think she killed Raven." The words gush out like a river after rain. He doesn't say anything, but his eyes rest on the side of my face, his gaze as warm as the sun. "There was nobody else around and I... Raven was screaming for help."

"The cloud killed Raven. It was the cloud. There's nothing you could've done, Freya."

I shift my gaze to his. A stern expression replaces the lazy grin, eyes intense. "Will she remember? What happened?"

He pauses. "Do you remember what happened to you in the cloud in Veymaw?"

I consider his question. The memory is so vivid, even now, when I know it isn't real, I see the shifter in my mind dragging Samu through the forest; I feel it's teeth pierce my ankle. "No, not even when I discovered the truth."

"Whatever Cadence saw in the cloud, it wasn't Raven. She won't know what truly happened. Not unless you tell her."

"And you think I should?"

"It doesn't matter what I think."

We stare at one another. Above him, the sky has lightened as dawn falls upon us, the rising sun creating a warm glow on the horizon that lights the tips of his black hair alight. He looks so beautiful in the soft glow.

"If it were you," I say, "would you want to know?"

His jaw tenses. "This isn't about me. What would Cadence want?"

I turn back to look at her, my heart swelling in my chest. Always so soft and gentle, Cadence has always reminded me of sunshine. "I think it would break her. Something like that would break even the strongest people."

He says nothing, looking away from me towards the stream. I settle on the edge of the step, my heart heavy in my chest. "Thank you," I say. "I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't found us."

"You would've been okay."

"You really believe that?"

"I do." He nods. "You're resourceful. I think you could find your way out of anything."

"How did you find us in the cloud?"

"We waited till it dissipated. We couldn't risk running into it--we'd never find you if it took us down." He watches me closely. "Did you see anything in there?"

"Like last time?" I ask. He nods. "At first, yes, but it wasn't the same. I heard the voices... I started to follow them but then... but then I told myself it wasn't real. So it wasn't."

"You told yourself it wasn't real," he repeats, tone unusual.

I nod, holding his gaze. There's something about the way that he looks at me that sends my heart into overdrive. The distance over the past few days only seems to have strengthened the feeling. It draws me to him, but still, I stay standing with my arms glued to my sides.

"You should get moving soon," he says after a few moments. "Whether or not Cadence wakes. It won't be long before Ereon sends someone to search for the missing guards and carriage." He pushes off the carriage, moving back towards the path.

My mind swims with confusion as he starts to move away, racing with questions. You should get moving, he said. Not we. You.

The thought of leaving again makes my heart pound. In the past couple of hours, I haven't spent much time thinking about what the next few days looks like. But with Lei on Killian's arm, I certainly didn't imagine it would be anything other than a 'we', no matter what that meant for Casimir and Elex.

"Killian?" I call. He turns, half his face shadowed by an overhanigng branch. "I know you saw me that night. You... you let me escape. Why?"

He holds my gaze, expression an unreadable mask of emotion. My heart hammers as I await his answer. And for a brief moment, when he opens his mouth, I think he might. But then he nods to Cadence over my shoulder.

"Like I said, you should probably get moving soon. Try to wake her up. And get your story ready for when she does. She might not remember what happened, but she'll know there's something."

My eyes prick with emotion, but I shove it away. I wish I could read the words written in his eyes, the secrets behind his words, but all I see through the miniscule fractures in his facade is another wall.

There was a time his presence provided me a innate sense of security. But now, in the aftermath of the cloud's destruction, nowhere feels safe. Everything inside of me screams at me to hide, to find somewhere safe with Cadence and Casimir and wait until it passes. But it's spreading through Elel the way it did Torinne, last night is evidence of that.

"Do you really believe I can stop it?" I call, my voice shaking. "The cloud, I mean. Do you really believe the solution has something to do with me?"

When Killian meets my gaze, the thoughts in his eyes swim to the surface. There's a vulnerability in the emotion shining through, and despite the betrayal, the lies and deceit and pain, whatever he says next, I want to trust.

"The cloud steals your mind from you. It creates false realities and stories that cause destruction. I don't know how you're supposed to stop it," he says honestly. "But nobody has ever been able to tell themselves that what they see in the cloud isn't real before. Nobody but you."

This time, when he walks away, I don't call out to him. His words weigh heavy on my shoulders as reality sets in.

Nobody but you.

The cloud is rolling in no matter how much we deny it. Soon, there will be nowhere left to hide.