IN ANOTHER LIFE | GXG

ten

I nod.

"Okay well. I was born and raised in Louisiana-"

"Oh! I knew I could hear a little bit of a random accent and I always wondered where you were from so there's that."

People always say things like that. I always thought my Louisiana accent faded into a New York one but it's somehow mixed.

"Yea I moved here when I was 14 so it's only been a few years here. Anyways it was always just my mom and me. No cousins, uncles, nieces, nothing. I've never met my father. For a while, I wanted to but if he wanted to see me he would've found me. So I gave up on that end. We moved here for a fresh start and we've been here ever since."

I briefly pause. "That's it. nothing too special." I say as I slung one leg over the other and slouch back into the couch. She doesn't say anything. She just writes on her notepad.

As she writes my mind thinks of the only thing it can. Sage. Is she okay? I shake my head trying not to think about her. She doesn't deserve any of my worries.

"You okay?" I quickly nod.

"Yup."

"Something, in particular, going on?" I shrug.

I'm not exactly sure if I want to talk to her about Sage. Sage is also a client of hers. Wouldn't that be some confidentiality law? I don't know but still, I'm not sure about talking about Sage with her.

"Nothing," I say again as I look at her. She sees me but she's not convinced. That fine. I'm not here to convince her.

"Okay... so do you think the absence of your father has... some people may say... affected you?"

"I mean... yea. It's hard seeing girls my age going to father-daughter dances with their dads because I know that'll never be me. And I don't want to be. My mom is more than enough but sometimes I just wonder how life would've turned out if he were here. Maybe my mom and I would get along more because we'd have someone to balance us. I don't know... but yes I think it's affected me. In more ways than one."

She tilts her head as she gives me a proud mom smile. I furrow my eyebrows and sit up. "What?"

"It's just great hearing you finally open up."

"Oh."

I'm okay with sharing about my dad I think I just get defensive when it comes to talking about the more recent things. It gets dark and that's not something I want to revisit. I know I will have to soon anyway. But maybe I can stall.

For the rest of the session, we talk about my father and how it's affected my mom and things like that. Though I don't think my mom still cares too much about my father because she has a boyfriend.

She hasn't officially told me but I know.

When our session is over I thank her, put on my hoodie, and walk out. The Libby is empty besides the receptionist and me. She's typing away on her computer while chill music plays in the background.

I mumble a goodbye to her before walking out the door and looking around for my mom. I try my hardest not to look for Sage also but I can't. It's like a reflex now. One that I hate because I'm stressed over someone who doesn't even give a shit about me. She probably laughs at me with her friends.