Hope

Chapter 19

Hopes POV
"Hopes felony fee has now been paid, the whole $10,000, paid by her minimum wage paying job in the 'Morner hospital center'. Her felony has been lifted to a misdemeanor." The 'judge' said. We didn't have a lawyer, all I had was Poppy, Luke, Bobby J, mom, and my dad.. Basically. Finally, the day where I paid off that stupid felony. I impressed everyone, considering I gave up on everything, I didn't give up on this. I've proven my new self to everyone now, and they now know how serious I am to become better.
"Thanks Mr. judge, I appreciate it." I politely smiled. Its good to hear my sense of humor never left me.
"Hey Hope, congrats!" Luke hugged me. My mission was still: 'save Luke'. And it was going quite successfully!
"Thanks Luke! I'm very happy that's off my chest." I said breathing a sigh of relief. And that breath that I let out contained so many stresses, and hardships I've been through. That breath contained the old Hope, the weak, stupid, heartless, bitchy one.
"Therapy room everyone! We are having a celebration for Hopes hard work!" Poppy said with a huge, happy smile. I gave a huge smile in return. We got to the room, and what I saw made me tear up. The room was decorated beautifully. I didn't know what to say, there was balloons, tons of food, games, you name it. Poppy sat me down, and everyone sat around me.
"Ok everyone, we are gonna go around the room, and you're gonna say one thing about Hope Macintosh that you love. We are doing this because, she deserves it for her hard work, and kindness." Poppy said. Wow, kindness and hard work in the same sentence... And it's about me.? Luke was the first to start.
"Well Hope, at first I hated you. Like so much, you were a bitch." he started. Well, he has a point.
"But then, I got to know you. You have so many great qualities. You're probably the strongest cancer patient I know. You're so beautiful..." He started, but stopped. WOAH, WHAT
"Your personality is... wow. You have one personality, my friend. You're so opinionated, and very unique. I've never met someone quite like you. And your quite similar to me, you got problems, I got problems too! You're not afraid to admit who you were, and now you've changed so much. You've grown so fast, I didn't think It was humanly possible. What's your secret? You constantly underestimate yourself, but you don't realize how truly genuine you are, under those scars from the past. You the realest." He smiled so widely at the end. I didn't even realize a tear coming down my cheek, until I tasted its salty wetness. I stared at Luke for at least 5 minutes, unsure what to say. What he just said made me find myself, it made me realize my true self. Maybe I was genuine after all.
"Thank you Luke. Your just as genuine as me. My secret you ask? I wouldn't know how to answer that months ago, but right now, my secret is...." I thought about that for a minute.
"Having people who care about you, and listen to you. They give you the most honest, and 'reality' response. And I've realized once you have people, and once you fully realize how to respond and react, and love, and feel, and cry, and everything, you become happy. Out of the shell you've been in for so long, you become truly happy. And finding happiness is the cure to sadness. Basically, my secret is finding happiness, reaching nirvana, when you're finally at peace with yourself, and your surroundings. When you let people in, and you stop being so goddamn stubborn. When you find yourself, that's my secret, well it's not such a secret anymore Luke. And that's what I want for you.." I stated. He was already cry-hugging me.
"Thank you so much Hope, you've helped me so much throughout this journey." Luke stated.
"We've helped each other Luke." I smiled, rubbing his back.
"Be mine." Luke whispered, I felt my whole world stop. How could I be with Luke..? No! I would never abandon Tyler! Never! I need time, I need time to continue to mourn to Tyler. To be faithful to Tyler, I would love Ty forever. I never realized how much I cared about him until he 'left' me. And plus, I'm sorry, but I don't see Luke like that. I've only truly seen me marrying Tyler one day. A tear rolled down my cheek. I remember our first date..
"Oh my gosh this is so tasty Ty!" I exclaimed. It was really good, we were at a fancy restaurant, at my request.
"We could've went somewhere less fancy you know!" Ty laughed.
"No! This is perfect." I said, exactly to my standard.
"Okay Hopey." He said. I awwed, at the nick name.
"You're so cute Ty." I looked into his silky eyes, he was beautiful.
"And you are also sweetheart." He leaned over, as we kissed the nights away, forgetting our surroundings.
Flashback over. I mentally face palmed on how selfish I was. But I know our love was real, and I continue to love him.
"I'm sorry Luke, but I don't see you in that way. You're a very close friend to me, I love you, but not in that way." I tried to be subtle, yet stern, to get the point across. He seemed sad, pale, and lifeless again. No, this can't be happening, he's not going back, not on my watch.