Hope

chapter 3

Little did I know death was so overwhelmingly slow. Well in the way I experienced it. I couldn't breath, he was choking me, and I couldn't breath. I was gasping for breath, whimpering, squirming, and worse of all I was showing weakness. I know too many people who show weakness towards men, like my old friend Lanny. She did everything her boyfriend told her, like he owned her. How could she love someone so horrible to her. If you truly love someone, seeing them in pain is a heartbreaking experience. And that's exactly what he was doing, pushing her towards the edge of a cliff she eventually fell off of. My friend Lanny, killed herself. Because of a stupid, abusive, disgusting boyfriend. I finally felt her pain a little bit. But I still would never wish to see him again, that's if I survive this. I started feeling light-headed, I couldn't feel anymore, well at least physically. My mind was going crazy I was thinking about all of our memories. He was so gentle, calm, and perfect. Now he is just harsh, crazy, and forceful. I still can't even believe this is happening. Everything in my mind stopped for a second, I started to see my whole life flash before my eyes. It was all so surreal. Suddenly I felt everything, and my shoulders were being shaken to a point where I couldn't even keep my head straight. I saw it. I was seeing the light...of my-lamp? In my room? I looked up and saw my distressed mom looking at me with full concern.

She said, "You were shaking, and screaming for the past hour. I didn't know what to do- you wouldn't wake up." But don't worry it was only a nightmare, you're here now."

I had beads of sweat dripping off of my forehead, and my pillow was drenched with sweat and tears. I noticed I was holding my neck in a tight fashion. I let go and I think that's the first time I took a breath in the time I woke up. I was beyond myself.

"Speak to me sweetheart, your are ok. I promise It was only a dream." She said calmly. A dream, more like my worst nightmare. I still had wide eyes, and my breathing was still rapid. I didn't say a word just relaxed and fell back asleep. All that wore me out. Quick.

..........

I woke up later, I think it was night time because the house was quiet. My lamp was turned off, and my blinds were closed. I yawned still a bit taken back by my 'nightmare'. I got up to open my blinds and I was right. It was dark, pitch black, with twinkling stars, and a full moon. It was gorgeous, I think I stood there for at least ten minutes, just standing there. Not thinking, not doing anything, just standing and staring. I might be overreacting, considering it was only a dream, but it felt so real. SO real. Too real. But I have to get over it, because it was only a dream and some people have to deal with this for real, everyday. They can't escape, and I felt their pain. About a year ago I thought Tyler cheated on me with Baylinn, but he calmly explained to me he didn't. We soon made up after that. Obviously the dream was intensified, because he never beat me in real life, just the dream. But it's over now, I guess I should gets some sleep.

.....
3:37

Ok I can't sleep. I keep thinking about It. It just won't go away. Why do I keep thinking about something so...stupid. Uhhhg.

........

"Good morning sleepy." My mom whispered. "Any scary dreams tonight?"

"No mom, not tonight." I said sleepily.

"You're eyes honey, you look like you haven't gotten sleep in years." She said that with a sympathetic tone.

"Just not a lot sleep ma, it's ok." I said. "But why did you wake me?" I furrowed my brows.

"I was just so worried about you, you fell asleep for the day and night, I needed to make sure you were ok." "So what exactly did you dream about." She asked. Dang it, I knew she would ask.