Shadow of Doubt

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

For the whole drive, it was only Hidayah and I that were communicating, she tried as much as she could to involve Hafsah in the conversation but she wasn't having any of it. She answered Hidayah when due and ignored her when it wasn't necessary.

I knew I was in a huge trouble from the minute I left the house without telling her when we both knew I was supposed to tell her and then she found out about the broken engagement in front of her father.

All this madness was eating me up because here I was, in love with the daughter of my parents' murderer and at this point, I was far too gone to think I could ever give up on her because of my mission, not when I knew she had the same feelings as I do. My mind kept telling me that it was going to come down to the day that I'll expose Baffah Sadiq and Hafsah would probably leave me forever, but I told myself we'll deal with that as it comes.

I was in denial about all this and right now my biggest fear was losing Hafsah. Sure, my greatest concern was finding out the truth about my parents' murder and why it happened but if it's going to come at the risk of losing her, I'd have to reconsider everything.

"Thank you, Mr. Sa'ad." Hidayah said as she dropped from the car in front of their house and Hafsah whined down the window, looking out at her friend. "Madam." Hidayah was holding back a laughter. "Allah Ya huci zuciyar ki."

"We'll talk later." Hafsah laughed and shook her head at her friend. It seemed I was the only one she was mad at. I let them say their goodbyes before I drove away and Hafsah put her elbow on the handrest in the center console and put her head in her palm.

"I'm sorry." I didn't even bother beating around the bush. To be honest, I may be a lot older than her but I was bad at relationships because they were never an area of expertise before. "Hafsah?" She was still not looking at me or answering me. The fact that she was still here told me that she was ready to listen to me and I was grateful for that.

The next thing I did was drive the car to our samosa spot and parked, I found out that it was very close to Hidayah's place the first day we droppef her at home. "Why are we here?" Hafsah asked and her voice felt cold to me. "Please take me home."

Even if she wasn't going in, I'd want us to talk in an open space, so I said to her "We don't have to go in, we can just sit under the gazebo and I'll get you something to drink before we talk."

"Just water, thank you." She stepped out of the car and I sighed in relief because she was willing to listen to me. She led the way and selected where she wanted to sit while I looked for a waiter and told him to bring us water.

"The day I came back from my training and I went back home, Sadiq and I were talking about how their mother didn't want my marriage to Hauwa to happen, Sadiq mentioned that he knew I wasn't in love with Hauwa and I also admitted it there but Baba Labaran heard. He broke the engagement there and then." I said as I looked at her carefully to see her reaction. "I didn't know how to tell you this Hafsah because I was ashamed, ashamed that I didn't know what I would've done if Baba Labaran didn't walk in on that conversation."

"For some reason, I felt like he made things easier for me and you deserve more than that from me. What would I have done if Baba never found out? Was I going to carry on with the wedding or not? All this made me so ashamed that I couldn't tell you how it ended."

Iram's fingers were toying with the serviette on the table as she listened to me patiently. "Hauwa and I had a heated moment— she was mostly venting her anger and she told me she didn't want to see me again, that was why I packed my things and moved back to Abdallah's. I left home when she was sick and I didn't know her condition had worsened to being hospitalised until I was speaking with Baba earlier and he told me." I paused because I was also trying to make sense of the next part. "I immediately thought to drive to the hospital— that was why I left earlier without telling you because I had all the intention of coming back." She looked up at me at this point and I nodded to assure her.