Deep Thoughts

Sunflowers

I always felt like an ill kid, everywhere. Everywhere but in water. I really love to swim you know?

When i'm underwater i feel like nothing could ever happen to me, i feel so calm that even drowning is not a problem, i feel like i am escaping this world for every second i am in the bottom of a pool, it's like a moment of full peace and protection. Maybe it has something to do with mother nature or energies.

Paradoxically, i hate the sea. It's full of salt, plastic, and pollution. It's not even blue like everyone fantasize it. Just gray water for the half of the planet and dead fishes floating on the surface of the water, intoxicated by the human bullshit. So yes, i hate the sea, but i hate humans too.

I don't think i am clear enough when i say that.

Dont you remember when you was a kid, and when you were bathing in the inflatable pool in the back of the garden?

I remember it. It was one of the moments that i loved above all, it was one of the moments i felt really safe in my home, without anybody telling me to do my homeworks or tidy up my room.

One of the moments my family or my frequentings weren't toxic anymore and i didn't have problems at all.

i think that drowing is the most beautiful death ever. I mean, calm everywhere around you, and your own voice telling you to let it go, to just stop trying catching a last breath with air. All you got to do is letting you sinking slowly with all your life scrolling in front of your eyes and a feeling that everything is over now, you can just calm down and rest in peace.

Isn't it so perfect ?

This writing session feels like i am watching old photos of people i don't remember of, or i don't know at all. Like a really calm moment of serenity and self- reflection.

I think i love it.

Water is all you can imagine when you say the word "calm".