Counting Paths

Chapter 31.

"How are you feeling?" He asks in a serious tone. I fall back on the tire and he starts to push me gently.

The entire evening we communicated in upbeat small talk. Our moods were light, our problems weren't ours, and we shared the small yet important information about ourselves. But the sudden shift in his voice startled me and tells me what he's been wanting to tell me since Roland returned.

"I miss him," I say into the wind.

"And?" He wonders.

"And nothing. There's nothing more to that."

"Why not?"

I shut my eyes and feel the world fly by repeatedly as I sway. "Because I can't ask Roland to Lisi over me. Asking alone will be torture, the answer will kill me."

"The same goes for him. This shit ain't easy for him either."

"That's exactly why I'm trying not to make a big deal out of everything."

"You're too young for this."

I open my eyes, sit up, and peer up at him. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Like what?"

I ponder for a moment. "Tattoo. I want a tattoo. I want tattoos. Are they as addictive as everyone says they are?"

"Yes."

I try to smile. "I want to get my brother's birthday on my arm, tiger strips on my leg, and a snake wrapping around my collar bone-oh, and a band on my upper arm!"

"That's all?"

The swing slows to a halt and I play with the ruined dirt underneath me with the top of my boot. "Nothing I can think of now."

"Welp, I like the tiger strips."

"When do you think I can get a tattoo?"

"Sixteen, but I don't think Roland would say yes, tattoos are dangerously addictive, and did you see the look on his face when you told him you were gonna dye it?"

"Yeah," I breathe.

"And you didn't even say how much hair you were dying."

"Would you let Mary-Katherine-"

"No," he answers before I can ask. "But if she gave me that same fucking pout you give Roland and say 'please' then I'm screwed."

"I do not pout!"

"Oh, you pout," he smiles. "You do the whole puppy dog eye shit and the thing with the bottom lip and you even bat your lashes. If Roland could actually attempt to fight against you, I'll bet good money you'll start whimpering."

"Jackass," I scoff.

"Cry baby," he fires back.

I push off the tire and onto my feet and smile at him. "I want some pretzels!"

# # #

"Don't fall out the window!" Kevin shouts behind me. "Matter of fact, get your ass back in the car!" He grabs my arm and tugs at it until I'm seated in my seat again.