Consistent, Inconsistent Mind

- a friend I could never be to you -

CW & TW: mentions an abstract description of self-loathing/self-hatred, if this could be potentially triggering for people who are in a difficult place mentally and emotionally.

If you are a facing the blackholes of the universe, just know, you are not alone in your journey. You are so incredibly loved and you should never have to apologise for existing. It's something I'm still learning, and I don't wish to downgrade how difficult it can be, and it does takes time. Take the time YOU need. I believe in you, equally to many others.

she was hurt once upon a time.

A wound like a decapitation, immutable.

their hurt, years ago, but the wounds, fresh and raw.

Now, a larger tornado circling minature tornadoes.

they meet people who are wonders to the world,

they meet people who are as rare as shooting stars,

four leaved clovers,

and a blue moon.

people they never feel meriting.

vulnerability, the Achilles' heel.

intimacy, the Achilles' heel.

Proximity becomes distance.

Two polar opposite magnets.

Negative pole pushing away the positive pole.

Defying physics.

the kindest of souls,

the warmest of hearts,

the exquisitest of minds.

Yet one pulls away. Yet one quivers by their touch.

mind, naïve of the whereabouts of the feeling's birth.

digging the hole deeper to find the fossils.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for never being able to be the friend, you need and want me to be.

I'm sorry that I may never be able to hug you in the same way as the first time.

I'm sorry.

One is uncertain if they could ever be a best friend.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and for listening :) It truly means a lot to me :)

I would love to hear your thoughts, feelings and feedback :)