Written in the Stars ~ [AVENGERS]

'She's gone. She's never coming back.'

Katia's POV: 

I'd been in the cramped bathroom on the Quinjet for the last half-hour just staring at my reflection. Large, dark circles surrounded my eyes and the lack of appetite the past few weeks is starting to show. My cheeks were  hollowed;  cheekbones sticking out above them. 

Just as I was about to leave headquarters about an hour  before, a dark wood picture frame had caught my eye. Within it me, Nat, and Steve beamed at the camera with half-carved pumpkins in front of us. I remember how different I looked. How there was no scar tracing through my face: my right eyebrow hadn't yet been sliced down the side by a blade.

I was smiling. 

I can't remember the last time I smiled. 

I'm sure it will come back when I remove Thanos's head from his shoulders. 

"Hey Katia, if you don't come out of the bathroom I'm pretty sure Bruce's bladder will explode." Nat's muffled voice broke my train of thought. I sighed, splashing water in my face before turning the handle. I opened the door, looking at everyone. Everyone looked at each other with uncomfortable stares, as if they were the telepathic ones and not me.  It's awkward: seeing everyone walk on egg shells around me. Every single person is constantly holding their breath waiting for me to break. Not that they would ever have to worry about that, I can hold it. 

"I'm going to check inventory." I said, slumping down onto the floor against the wall. Steve looked in my direction, alarm on his face. 

"when did you go to the armoury?" he asked, panic creasing his features. 

A laugh crept up my throat at his exasperated expression. I lifted my hand, curling the purple smoke around until it formed a sword. The hilt was a solid weight: heavy and cold in my hand. The blade edge singed with frost that crept inwards, filling the engraving with ice and crackling softly as it travelled around my wrist and coated it in a quickly melting band of ice.  

In that moment, a sort of solemn numbness filled my chest. 

This was my legacy. 

All of the glorious weapons I could create at will. The glorious, deadly weapon that I myself had been become into over the past ten years. I guess I haven't got anyone to blame. I am what I am because I am not human. 

The numbness proceeded over a few minutes, or seconds. I can't keep track.I crack my neck, staring at the sword.

I hadn't noticed Bruce come and sit beside me at any point, nor acknowledged his presence until he cautiously removed the blade from my fleeting grip. He set it down on a discarded jacket on the floor. I managed to gather the will to look up. Everyone was engaged in their own conversations and for a minute everyone looked normal, as if we weren't days away from war against an enemy we don't know how to fight. 

Steve sat in the Pilot seat, Nat in the co-pilot seat with her legs slumped over his lap as they chatted with Sam. Wanda kept her headphones on, lying her head on Vision's lap with her eyes closed as he stroked her hair. 

A pang dulled through my chest at the sight and I couldn't help but imagine me and Rowan that way. The two of us with nothing but time on our hands and warmth in our hearts. If it wasn't for current affairs, I would argue that Wanda and Vision appeared peaceful. 

I turned to Bruce, who was studying my face with worried, anxious eyes. His eyebrows furrowed before his expression turned serious. "You're not eating enough." He stated, his voice hushed enough to not disturb anyone else. I shrugged, no point in lying since anyone with eyes can probably see. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a large protein bar similar size to a Yorkie bar. "Eat that for now and when we land in an hour, we can all eat some proper food."