Sparks Fly (ONGOING)

Chapter 28

It's been three days since I last saw Lukas. Three days since we did stuff more than making out... in public.

It has also been three days since he told me he loved me.

I'm not ignoring him. We still call and text. It's just a coincidence that we didn't have the time to get together with one another.

Onting araw nalang at championships ko na. No surprise, mas lalong humirap at lalong humigpit na schedule ko.

Am I embarrassed with what Lukas and I did at the jacuzzi? Probably. I can't believe we did that! Parang parehas kaming nawalan ng kontrol!

Akalain mo 'yon? Ang tagal bago kami magka-first kiss ta's biglang iilang araw lang, kung ano-ano na ginagawa namin!

I'm not ashamed and I don't regret it, I'm just too shy to face him. But I swear! I'm not purposely cancelling our dates and hangouts because of it. I'm just truly immersed in my training.

Well... medyo nagtatampo din ako sa kanya. I mean, bakit naman hindi? He made me wear my top again after seeing my bits, what the hell was I supposed to think?! Kung hindi lang siya nagsalita edi humahagulgol na 'ko sa kandungan niya!

Thank God he explained. I would've locked myself in my room and cried myself to sleep if he didn't.

I have also not forgotten the words he told me that night.

He loves me.

I should be jumping for joy, but all I feel is uncertainty and fear. I like Lukas a lot, I'm just not sure if what I feel for him is love.

How could I know if I love him already when I don't even know what it is? What it felt like?

Kahit anong klaseng pagmamahal pa 'yan.

Hindi ko alam kung nagsasabi ba siya ng totoo. But it's Lukas, he's never done or said anything that would make me think otherwise. He has always been honest with me. I trust him.

Just because I trust him doesn't mean my insecurities would completely go away. Hindi nga ako sigurado kung mahal ako ng mga magulang ko, eh. Paano ko kaya paniniwalaan na mahal ako ni Lukas? Ng hindi ko naman kadugo?

I'm not even sure if the people I share the same blood with loves me.

Kakatapos ko lang mag-training. My whole body is so sore. I was skating so fast, my arm hit the board when I lost control. Hindi ako nakatakas sa pangaabuso ni Coach Dimitri. I can't wait to take an ice bath once I get home.

"Vicencio!" I heard coach bark my name.

Kunot noo akong naglakad palapit sa kanya. Nagtataka kung bakit ako tinawag kung kailan paalis na dapat ako ng rink.

Don't tell me hindi pa rin siya satisfied.

Nakakapagtaka... ngayon ko lang napansin na hindi masyadong naginit ulo ni Coach sa'kin.

He still threw insults at me for today's training, but it was tame compared to before. I definitely improved. Ganito siguro pag-inspired at in love 'no?

Teka, teka... in love?! Aba, saan naman 'yon nanggaling, Dianna Amethyst?!

Pinasadahan ako ng tingin ni Coach Dimitri. Halos alas diyes na ng gabi at kami nalang ang natitira sa rink. Matagal ng nakauwi mga kaibigan at teammates ko. Our normal training ends usually at six or seven in the evening. But since I'm the only skater with a competition lined up, sinasagad sa closing time ng rink ang training ko, which is 10 PM.

"Yes po, coach?" I politely asked.

Pinasadahan niya ng tingin ang buong katawan ko. Kinrus ko mga braso ko sa harap ng aking tiyan. Baka kasi iinsultuhin niya nanaman katawan ko. Baka kasi malaman niya na kumain ako ng lunch kanina. Nagmeryenda din ako.