The Love I First Denied [Anhane]

"Do I love her..?" Chapter 2

"AHA WHAT KOHANE??" Akito began bursting into laughter and I could feel my face heating up.

"Ooo do you really think that Kohane" An looked at me with her typical smirk, directing eye contact with me as I begin to look into her eyes.

"I-I u-uhmmm..." Lost in thought, I said the first thing I thought of but I guess it appeared different from another perspective, she really was beautiful but not like that....at least not that I'm aware of....wait wait no I can't...

I get snapped back into reality when Toya shouted.

"The reservation is in 45"

"Ah shit, c'mon guys let's go"

Akito gave the thumbs up meaning it was time for us to leave sekai so we could make it to the reservation. The three left leaving me in sekai, Meiko is probably gonna tell me to go with the others so there'd be no point trying to talk to her again. I grabbed my phone out the bag and stopped playing untitled which brought me back into the real world yet again. I look at my messages, 17 missed which were mainly Akito questioning my whereabouts when I had been lost but also a recent one.

[VBS GC]

Akito- "HEY GUYS COME MEET AT THE PARK, BE QUICK!"

An- "Alright alright calm down bro, there's no need for the caps"

Toya- "There's no point trying to explain that to him.."

An- "sigh...you're right"

Akito- "Did you seriously type out 'sigh' in text LMAO"

An- "IT'S FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT SHUT UP"

[End of messages]

Ehe..they're always like this. 

I adjust my bag and walked down the street to the park we usual go practice at. I find an empty bench to sit down at and just take time to write a few things in my journal..I was always told writing about your day and your emotions help you to control them so I'll give it a shot.

[journal entry 1]

"Dear journal, today has been such a strange day even though it has only just begun. I got taken into my very own sekai that I didn't even know I had, to make it even weirder, it was nothing more than an array of endless street...Miku also said something weird too. Miku did end up bringing me back into our sekai thankfully and I met with the group, we're going out in about half an hour from the time I'm writing this. Today we all dressed quite formal today and An looked absolutely stunning! She's the greatest partner I could ever have!..I mean she's so kind and strong and beautiful I mean...she's just amazing!! She is someone I just want to be with forever and ever, I want to be by her side..I want to be hers and I want her to be mine...everytime I see her my heart beats so fast I can't explain it even if I tried! She's such a great friend."

[end of journal entry 1]

I reviewed over that entry and placed the journal back into my bag. Hopefully this journal thing will help me with my emotions.. 

I go back onto my phone to check the time and see I have about 5 minutes to meet with the group, so I get off the bench and walk into the park to see the three together.

"Bro literally just shut up"

"You started it!"

"What are you two arguing about now?" I asked.

"Don't even bother with those two.." Toya replied.

"Oh aha that type of thing" I giggled a bit.

"Mhm"

"Yeah yeah whatever....Oh Kohane!!" An said as she ran my direction a second time.

"You're like a cat protecting it's territory like why do you have to run to her everytime?" Akito asked.

"Because she's my partner and she's MINE!!" An shouted.

Ehe...me being An's....that's so...no no I have the wrong idea...I'm her singing partner, I guess my brain is going other directions aswell..

I softly grinned as she held a light grip on my arm. I feel like my thoughts are scattered everywhere...what is this feeling....

"Okay I didn't want her anyways, I got my buddy Toya, isn't that right?" Akito said as he patted Toya on the shoulder.

"Of course, Akito, also it's about time we start going" Toya replied.

"Alrighty then let's go" An said as she begun to pull me closer to her..I could feel my face heating up just like earlier but as we kept walking, it just kept getting progressively worse..my heart was practically pounding out of my chest. I never felt this way around An...I can't tell what emotion I'm experiencing..am I sick..? By the time we make it the restaurant I swear I felt as if I was going to pass out.

"Reservation for a table of four?" the front waitress asked.

"Yes that'll be us" Akito replied.

The waitress directs us to an upstairs table and places the menus for us to review. Akito quickly claims a seat and Toya sits next to him. An, still holding my arm, pulls me to the other side of the table and I take a seat, her following along.

"ooo that looks good!" Akito said.

"Pancakes again..? Toya replied.

"Bro you can't deny those don't look amazing!"

"You had pancakes this morning"

The two started to go back and forth reguarding the choice of pancakes at sunset. I couldn't help but laugh a little at their bickering while I continued to glance over the menu.

"I think I might go with the curry" I said.

"Basic" Akito replied.

"Shut up you're the one ordering pancakes" An said in defense.

Yet again, Akito and An are arguing but it feels different when seeing An at this perspective....she's so quick to start defending me even over some of the most minor things, Akito always jokes about our relationship but he's just missing around...I mean...me being with An? surely not...An would want to be with someone equally as strong, confident, bold, talented, and beautiful as her...not with some little wimpy girl like myself....why am I even thinking about this..? It's not like I love her or anything....do I?....shit. 

I proceed to quietly take out my journal and scratch out the last sentence of my entry....perhaps I do know my feeling....I just have to ask myself one question....

Do I love her..?

[Story Word Count Total: 1086]