Cross Roll and Whip ✔️

Chapter 21

⚠️Warning⚠️

After what felt like the longest day of my life I am finally almost home. As soon as work was over I took Alex home from school and went back with my skates to hide away in my dance room to plan out a good routine to a popular song. I ended up with a faster pace tempo. The song just starting to trend. So when the competition comes up it shouldn't be overplayed quite yet.

I was proud with how far I had gotten and definitely feel that I can do some pretty cool shit. I wonder what I can make Alex for dinner. He's just been so sad again and I don't care what he says we're going to be working on the eating again.

Pulling into the driveway I park the car and hurry to grab my things bulldozing into the house. I keep the smile on my face even when surprised by all the lights off.

I close the door with my back and that's when I hear it. The distraught sobbing. My hearts drops as I let everything fall from my hands. "Alex!" I shout going to his room first and not finding him.

"No- No! Go away!" He screams at me with a broken voice. I only run faster following his voice until I reach the closed bathroom door. I start to pound on the door when it doesn't open immediately. "Alex, come on- please. Let me in" I whisper, the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Alex... please" I cry not hearing anything. "Alex!" I scream again. "I can't!" He finally answers. Some sort of relief hits me when he at least answers. Still I start to shove against the door. "Why- why can't you!?" I ask switching to pull on the handle. "I'm sorry" he starts to sob. I rest my head on the door trying to think clearly.

"Alex. Come on. I- just let me-" he cries out and I start jumping at the door again. "Alex stop! Alex! Please! Stop!" I cry pounding on the door even harder. "Alex if you don't let me in I'll have- I'll have to call the police" I warn him.

"Don't- please don't. Holden- please... I- I'll go... I'll leave" his voice grows quieter as I scream throwing myself at the door. I back away and kick near the door handle. Surprisingly I hear a crack and continue doing it. Thanking god when I'm able to kick it in. The lock goes through and I fling the door open. My heart drops at the sight before me.

"A-alex" I drop to my knees in front of him. He's leaned against the bathroom counter on the floor. His wrist bloody... all of his arms. From his wrist up, covered in pink, red, and white cuts. I see the razor blade being lazily held in his hands as he looks at me with lidded eyes.

"Fuck!" I scream pulling my phone out of my pocket. I fumble with it and when Alex sees he sits up and takes it before throwing it. "Don't- don't do it" he tells me. I quickly grab the razor, throwing it in the trash before sitting him up properly.

I don't say anything. To rattled to think of any words. Instead I silently look under the sink. Finding any sort of bandages. I manage to get some peroxide... a few other things. "I'm sorry" I whisper before settling in next to him. I grab the small hand towel from on the sink and wet it before gently dapping at the cuts. He hisses in pain, but besides that he just lays his head back his eye dull with no care in the world.

I muffle my cries as I rummage around for the bandages. When the peroxide fizzles I give it a minute before grabbing the rag from the counter and letting it dry. Making sure that I can't get most to stop bleeding. He sighs and I just stay silent as I add another gel like substance that's suppose to help the skin heal. I hardly have enough for them all and grab another bandage from the first aid kit I found for his second arm. I'm going to have to get a few more... just in case.

Swallowing I wrap his arms up. He doesn't look anywhere but the ceiling as I look him over. Dropping my head to his chest I break down. "Alex don't leave me- don't do that" I cry grabbing onto his bloody shirt.

He finally looks up at me his lips trembling. "I'm sorry- I'm sorry! I'm sorry" he cries, but I just pull him into a hug not caring. "No- it's okay! It's okay. We're going to be okay. We'll be fine" I whisper kissing his head.

"It's going to be all okay" he tells me lazily. I stand and wrap my arms under his, struggling to drag him with me. He doesn't even flinch and just lets me. Once in a while he lets out a groan of pain.

When I get across to my room I help him up and into bed. Taking the blanket away I pull it over his sweats before moving onto his shirt. "I'm going to take this off" I tug at the fabric getting a nod. I strip the bloody shirt from him and leave the room just staring at the piece of clothing. "Fuck" I whisper before just throwing it away.

Grabbing a glass of water I try to search for food and seem to find nothing. Or nothing that I think is suitable. He's not going to want to eat. Sugar. Ice cream? I grab the ice cream from the freezer and a spoon before carefully making my way back to my room with everything.

I set it all down on the nightstand before going to my closet and grabbing a bigger t-shirt for him. He tries sitting up as much as he can as I pull it over him. Taking the water next I bring it to his lips. He happily takes a few sips before collapsing back onto the pillows. I give hike a tired smile before kissing his forehead again.

"I love you Alex" I hum rubbing my thumb over his forehead. His eyes flutter shut and I shake his shoulder a bit. "No, I know you're tired but just stay up a bit more for me" I hum helping him sit up.

Grabbing the ice cream I open it up and take a spoonful. "Open" I tell him putting the spoon to his mouth. He hesitantly takes the bite and struggles to swallow it. "Good, you're doing good" I coo continuing to feed him a bit more.

When I am happy with the amount he ate, I put it away making him finish the water. "How are you feeling?" I whisper running my fingers through his blonde curls.

He lets out a cry before sucking in a deep breath. "You're okay, it's okay" I assure him. he nods closing his eyes. "Okay you can sleep, my dear sweet brother. My brother who I love so much" I remind him. He lets his body relax into my bed.

"Good just relax" I tell him continuing to massage my fingers through his hair. When I know he's asleep I step out of the bedroom and go to the bathroom. I cry at the sight of all the blood. I need to hide anything that'll remind him of this. So quickly I start to clean up the mess taking the trash- the bloodied razor- all of it outside. I want it all gone.

Rummaging through my junk drawer I manage to find a screw driver and as quietly as I can, take the busted door off of its hinges. When it's off I just set it down on its side. My arms to weak for this shit. So I take a small break and go to Alex.

He shifts breathing heavily in his sleep. Breathing that's all that matters. When I know he's still okay I start my long process of dragging the door out of the house. Trying to stay quiet and failing.

I get it to the trash can and really hope that trash day is soon. At the moment I just can't keep track. When I get inside I close the door again and the realization hits. I need a bathroom door and he's going to really let it hurt him if I don't have one.

I change into comfort clothes throwing my bloody shirt away, I don't want those memories. My whole outfit goes in the trash. I can't risk it.

I check Alex again before grabbing my phone from where it was thrown earlier. Opening it up I call the only person I can think of. "Hello!" He seems so cheerful for such a late hour, but I just can't return it.

"Kayson. I need your help. I- I can't leave the house but I need a white door. You know what my bathroom door looks like. I just I need another one. I'll give you the money when you get here" I start to cry just saying things out loud.

"Holden?" He whispers, and I can't seem to stop shaking my head. "Kayson- the thing I was worried about. He tried. He did. I had to break the door down and now I just want to hide that it ever happen. I can't have it triggering him, so please. Please." I beg over the phone.

"I'll text you when I'm there" he understands immediately as I sniffle into the phone. "Thank you." I whisper in return. "Of course" I can hear him running around his house before he hangs up. I go to my room sitting on the covers. I pull the poor boy as close as possible.

"I'll protect you"