A Second Chance

Chapter 4

I bit my lower lip, trying to keep it from trembling as he yelled in my face. I turned my head to the side, not being able to look him directly in the eye.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice fragile and small as I took a deep breath. "I can study at the library or study at practice."

Before I was able to list off more options, I felt his rough hand grab my chin and pull me forward until I was facing him. I kept a straight face, gritting my teeth as he forcefully moved my head to where I was staring directly into his eyes. His grip on my chin never loosened as I heard a small gasp come from my mother.

"Elijah! You're being too hard on her, Jesus!" My mother finally spoke up as I heard her get off the couch and rush towards us.

"You look at me when you speak," my father harshly whispered only loud enough for me to hear before he let go of my chin.

"What has gotten into you Elijah?!" My mother scolded as I watched him take a few steps back until he turned on his heel to face my mother.

"She's being a fucking brat, Lindsey! She's got the perfect life, but can't keep her grades up. It's ridiculous!" He fumed as he threw his hands up in the air in exaggeration.

I cowered into myself, wanting anything but to be here as I watched them start to argue once again. Only this time, it was my fault.

"That's not an excuse and don't ever talk to my daughter like that again," my mothers voice got dangerously low as she roughly shoved her finger into his chest.

When did it come to this?

If this is how he decides to treat me after not having a conversation in days, then it's just going to get worse from here.

I gently rubbed my palm against my chest, trying to ease the aching feeling in my heart. Seeing my parents' relationship deteriorate right before my eyes hurt more than I ever could've imagined. I was used to staying up all night, listening to their arguments, but it's gone way too far.

"Don't start this again, Lindsey," he grunted, rolling his eyes as he straightened out his posture to look more intimidating. "You know damn well I'm right. She never even talks to us anymore! Doesn't that make you feel useless, like she doesn't love you anymore?"

My mouth went slack, my jaw almost hitting the floor as I stared at the man I called my father. He had the audacity to say shit like this, gaslighting my mother into believing I was the problem. I could feel rage pulse through my veins as I clenched my fists at my sides to keep myself from lashing out.

My mothers eyes glazed over, a sheer coat of tears covering her pupils as she looked down in embarrassment. She was so vulnerable that he was able to twist his own words until it made sense in my mothers brain. She could believe any word he said while she ignored my obvious pleads.

"Are you kidding me?" I gritted my teeth as I glared at my father. I didn't want to be the scared little girl that cowered away from her father. I didn't want him to crawl inside my head and slowly tear through my thoughts until he left me with whatever innocence I had left.

"Now isn't the time, Violet," my dad calmly grunted, although his eyes told a completely different story.

"When will it be, dad? You're twisting everything I do, twisting who I am as a person just so you can feel like a bigger person? You're manipulating your own wife and you don't see a problem with that?!" I hissed as I threw my hands up in despair.

"That's rich coming from you," he scoffed as my mother stood silent by his side. "All you do is sit in your room and when we finally do get to see you, all you do is complain about your mother and I's conversation!"

"You scream at each other all throughout the night, waking everyone up in this neighborhood! You yell at each other until you both lose your voices! That's not a normal conversation. A normal conversation wouldn't involve two supposed lovers screaming at the top of their lungs until they were satisfied about degrading each other!" I bellowed as I felt the tears of frustration brim my lower eyelid. I blinked the tears back, trying not to look weak as I finally got the chance to say everything that was on my mind. 

For once, my father was left speechless. He opened his mouth, but closed it immediately after. His gaze looked distant as they looked into my once dull eyes. My mother choked back a sob, using a shaky hand to cover her mouth as silent tears slowly ran down her rosy cheeks.

"Is that what you think of us?" My father finally spoke up, but this time, he was hesitant and held no confidence when he spoke.

"I don't think of you guys as anything. You both just don't realize how much your relationship is affecting other peoples lives too," I hesitantly admitted as my fathers face hardened. His usual stone cold face was back.

"I don't want to hear this nonsense anymore, go to your room," my father abruptly shot out as he turned on his heel and headed towards the kitchen without another word.

I felt the weight on my shoulders grow heavier, my body weak as I felt like curling into a ball and crying until their was nothing left in me. The one time I felt safe enough to open up to the two people who were supposed to love me, it backfired and bit me in the ass. Now I'm the bad guy once again.

My shoulders slumped, not sparing my mother another glance as I turned around and headed upstairs. My steps were slow as I dragged my feet along the hardwood floor. My feet subconsciously took me up the stairs until I reached my room.

I slowly opened my door, not bothering to turn on the light as I guided my way towards my bed. It was pitch black outside, the moon shining in my room to create the only source of light. I quickly lifted the covers, climbed under them and rested my head against my pillow.

Before I knew it, the sound of my fathers voice picked up once again, only this time it was directed towards my mother. I couldn't hold it in anymore, already feeling the tears slowly fall down my cheeks and onto my pillows. My mother's voice rose in anger as I squeezed my eyes shut.

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to bite back a sob as I clenched my fist around my sheets. Their voices echoed in my head, insults being thrown at each other as they moved to another room. Their voices got more quiet as they went further away, but it was still easy to hear their strained voices.

I began humming to myself, trying to cancel out the loud noises so I could let my body get at least some rest. With school, football, and my parents, I could feel my head ready to explode.

I just needed to deal with each day on its own, and not worry about tomorrow. I didn't have the mental or physical strength to even think about tomorrow when I could barely get through today. I needed to take a deep breath, and constantly remind myself that at the end of the day, I was going to be okay.

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HII!!
how are you guys liking the book so far?
i hope y'all are having a good school year so far...i missed you guys <3

-Lauren ;)